CL: CSKA Moscow 1 -1 United
Mar Seal used his head, shoulders, knees and toes, apart from his shoulders and toes and with a bit of one of his hands to influence the game at both ends, like in the Lighthouse Family’s remix of the classic song from 80s birthday parties. If you didn’t know we were Maverick writerers, you’d think […]
Everton 0 – 3 United
Ander the rare hare took the bull by the proverbial hooves and stuck it to the toffees like taking candy from a sweet shop, run by a baby (note to self: contact trading standards about this). A goal from Roondaddy brought him one step closer to becoming the all time goalscoring Wayne Rooney of all […]
Arsenal 3 – 0 United
No goalscorings from Vangle’s boys made it almost impossible to beat Arsenal, resulting in us not beating Arsenal. Whether they did any goals and took advantage of that is anyone’s guess. Guess we’ll never know. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1) Better Rooneys: a) Mickey. a2) Anyone else with that name. 1) Should put out […]
CL: United 2 – 1 VFL Wolfsburg
Pensmith John Murder did what he did best by smithing a pen to bring us back into it. And then Chris Smallholding did what he does worst in ‘terrorising’ the Wolvesburg defence and grabbing the golden goal to lift the Europe Championship. For now. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1) Roondog is getting really good […]
United 3 – 0 Sunderland
Mata, Depay and Roonaldo single-handedly dragged Vangle’s army to the top of the charts, as the other Manchester were distracted and confused by Liverpool becoming the new Spurs and forgetting that the old Spurs are still the old Spurs and not Liverpool or the new Sp etc Here’s 5 things what we learnED: 1. The […]
LC: United 3 – 0 Ipswich
Pereira steals the show with a swag bag made from lightning shootering boots. Meanwhile back on planet earth, another score for Mar Seal and even Skipper Roo gets his name amongst the scorings with his first goal since the 1986 World Cup Quarter Finals when Gary Linekar pointed out he was crying… Here’s 5 things […]
Southampton 2 – 3 United
Mar Seal did a two goals and Murder bludgeoned another, handing bread face his crust in his hands… Here’s 5 things we’ve learnt: 1) Up-fronterers ARE allowed to score the net points. 2) Vangle is an anagram of Leg Van. Makes you think. 3) The FA aren’t very good mathers: Southampton 2 – 3 United […]
CL: PSV 2 – 1 United
5 things we learnt watching United’s Champions League defeat: 1. Nobody likes Hector Moreno. 2. Everybody likes Luke Shaw. 3. Football clubs are the worst clubs. They cost loads to get in and you have to sing your own songs. At least you can get in wearing trainers. 4. Anthony Martial has a melting point […]
United 3 – 1 Liverpool
Manchester United vs. Liverpool 12/9/15 (3-1) Five things we learned after match we done: 1. Smoking kills 2. But not right away 3. Apart from in a house fire
