EFLC: United 1 – 1 Rochdale (5-3 pens)
The reds go marching on, lol. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Great round for Uniteds 2. Bad luck Spurs 3. Pogba’s contribution to the penalty shoot out was inspired 4. I didn’t see it. I was watching Elementary, which is a show about Sherlock Holmes and Lucy Liu 5. No-one was watching it it […]
West Ham 2 – 0 United
As Phil Jones and Ed Woodward watched on and may, or, may not havNo, can’t even pretend to give a fuck. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Mid-table team now I’m very sad 2. Shampooing my carpet was more exciting than the match 3. How have we forgotten how to play football it really isn’t […]
United 1 – 0 Leicester
Did. Not. See. That. Coming. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Hawkeye’s storyline in Endgame was bit pointless for me, Clive 2. I was very disappointed with the win a defeat or loss would’ve suited all my tweets before the game that’s the most important thing 3. We all laughed when Hanna called him ‘Hawkeyes’ […]
Southampton 1 – 1 United
Wise men will look at United’s indifferent start to the campaign and say “a season is a marathon, not a sprint”. Idiots. That’s athletics. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Ole said we can’t control results or outcomes. Someone should explain to him what the manager’s job is imho. 2. Was hoping Paul Pogba […]
United 1 – 2 Crystal Palace
We need to score more goals than the other team imho. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Nothing.
Wolves 1 – 1 United
AAAAANNNNNNNDDDDDDDDDDDD NOW YOU’RE GONNA BELIEVE US etc. Here’s the second load of 5 things we have already learned this season: 1. Crispy chilli beef is overrated. 2. Agreed. I’m not sure it’s even beef. Twiglets in a different sauce imho 3. Not that bad imho. Lost there twice last season did’t lose last night. […]
United 4 – 0 Chelsea
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNDDDDDDDD NOW YOU’RE GONNA etc Look, it’s the first 5 things learned of the season: 1. I liked how that kid scored a massive deflection and now he’s the new Ryan Giggs 2. How come Gary Neville doesn’t know how to use punctuation? 3. I watched it when I got home and it was not […]
United 0 – 2 Cardiff
Thank. Fuck. Here’s the final 5 things we learned from the season that taught us so much without teaching us anything we didn’t already know, or want to know or want to learn about knowing about: 1. Bad luck, Liverpool. 2. I’d rather have no chance of winning the league from the start than have […]
Huddersfield 1 – 1 United
Looking forward to really concentrating on that top 7 finish next season. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Endgame had a lot of people in it 2. At least ten 3. Thanks for the spoilers 4. I knew if I waited long enough I’d look better than Chris Hemsworth with my top off. 5. Saw […]
