Southampton 1 – 1 United
Wise men will look at United’s indifferent start to the campaign and say “a season is a marathon, not a sprint”. Idiots. That’s athletics. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Ole said we can’t control results or outcomes. Someone should explain to him what the manager’s job is imho. 2. Was hoping Paul Pogba […]
United 4 – 1 Fulham
Not taking any credit for this but my stream was perfect throughout the game, so… Here’s 5 things we learned as United continued on their voyage of discovering what it feels like to finish 6th in the Premier League table: 1. It is clear now from that one game that Paul Pogba is a […]
United 3 – 2 Newcastle
Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. I learnt nothing. I actually unlearnt stuff I thought I knew ie what the fuck was that game? 2. Pogba was great second half. I feel like I should say this because I moan about him so much. 3. Making Lukaku a CB will be Jose’s last great […]
CL: Young Boys 0 – 3 United
United’s Champions’ League campaign got off to a start as the first game was played of United’s Champions’ League campaign at the start of the Champions’ League campaign. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Plastic pitches get stitches 2. Heard the goals were good 3. Love that Shaman song 4. Love how that a […]
Bournemouth vs. United
(@Benglorious) I am on holiday so suck your disappointment right on its dick. Prediction: Me to ruin my holiday for me (I’m obvs on holiday alone cos me) by constantly checking my phone to see what great a jokes Brett is tweeting tonight. 0-0 United. m (@tom_mcghee) What words? Are we playing tonight? On a […]
United 0 – 1 West Brom
whnwkmkcsmklsnncjknsjdkcnjsnjkdnfjnsdcjnbkbkbkbfokbofbkofbkfbmkfmbmmfgdsajkhhwuoahvuinsadivninavnianvniavna xjkcsdcsdnsajvnsjvnsjdv;sdnvsdn;anvsdnavlsdlka;vnsalnvlsdnvlsd etc Here’s 5 things we sjdhfkjsdahvcjksdjkbvjkdsbauibfewbacinjknlakwecnwamc: 1. Well done, City. We’ll try harder next season maybe. 2. Fuck City suck it you blue fucks. 3. We are terrible at football.
Burnley vs. United
(@Benglorious) m The last time we played Burnley we had more shots than World War II but couldn’t find the net. I think that makes us Italy in this metaphor, but without the changing teams halfway through because we were losing. m Prediction: Rashford to continue his rise to glory by scoring for the third successive […]
Chelsea 4 – 0 United
Blah blah blah Mourinho at Chelsea! Blah blah blah Mourinho at United! Blah blah blah Mourinho at Chelsea? Blah blah blah Mourinho at United? I wish I could read more about this, but my eyes are full of all the interesting opinions and statistics. Like he said himself, he’s ‘not 99% United and 1% Chelsea’. […]
United vs. Stoke
m B&Q nominated for best dream about a talking raptor on a plane (@Benglorious) Stoke are 19th in the league, so they’re not the worst. United aren’t 1st in the league, so they’re not the best. Should be a good game. Unless it’s bad. What am I, preview guy? Anyway, I’m away all weekend leaving those […]