Daley Blind > Anthony Martial > Romelu Lukaku > Jose Mourinho > Daley Blind. Here’s 5 things we learned about football: 1. Equality is good, but kids shouldn’t be professional goalkeepers. 2. Unless they play for anyone else. 3.The hidden blade is back, baby, and it’s fucking siiiiiiiiick. 4. deli alley’s goals were good.

    (@Benglorious) Having not watched the Spurs game due to being roped in to building some decking with the worst hangover of my adult life, I don’t feel I am in a position to comment on United’s form going into this Champions League match. Prediction: We will fucking crush Benfica and make their six year-old goalkeeper cry. Lukaku to get cocky despite Han’s friendly warning. 0-0 United. m  (@tom_mcghee) “Football. Bloody Hell!” Now whilst...

Geno love being able to use ‘Legman’ as header picture: Benno’s best* a joke. Ashley Young owned Deli Alli, apparently. Deli Alli can only dream of being as good as Ashley Young one day. Another cracker! Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Returning to boyhood haunts is bittersweet at best ie The Prom = sweet, Leroy from Fame being dead = bitter. 2. If you want to buy some 3D pictures (dinosaurs, dolphins, kittens), I...

I’m in a queue for tickets for next round. Bite me. Here’s 5 things what we learned: 1. GTA survivals have gotten a lot harder. 1. 40yr-old consumer units do not meet current safety regulations. 2. That was meant to be 2. 3. That one wasn’t. 4. 2 that is, not one.

(@Benglorious) Too busy. Whatever Tom says. Prediction: Tom to say nothing. 0-0 United.   m  (@tom_mcghee) Too busy. Whatever Brett says. Prediction: Brett to say nothing. 0-0 United. m (@bifurcated_utd) Too busy. Whatever Benno says. Prediction: Benno to say nothing. 0-0 United.

 @Benglorious) I like watching football when we win. I won’t be watching tonight. Prediction: Lukaku to bullseye womp rats in his T-16 back home. 0-0 United. m     m  (@tom_mcghee) As the questions over Brett’s tenuous grasp of reality continue to flood the secret DM group that me and Benno have, it’s time that someone provided the answers to both of them: 1. No fucking chance 2.We’ll split it 50/50, bagsy his shoes  ...

Still not wasting jokes on this.

Not wasting joke on this.

What a game. Here’s 5 things we learned that we have never learned previously, but don’t check any of the previous reviews as that might compromise our special relationship: 1. Rashford is the only acceptable proof of God’s existence. 2. That keeper is the only person in the world who is worse at his job than Brett. 3. Legit fell into a coma. 4. I got better. 5. I actually spent the entire first half...

 @Benglorious) After the weekend’s disappointing game against Liverpool in the mediocrity of a competition that is the Premier League, tonight is a welcome return to the unrivalled magnificence of the UEFA Champions League European Cup Sponsored By Gazprom. Mourinho rested a good number of his squad ahead of this match, with many of them seen playing on their Sony Playstations or kicking back with an ice-cold Heineken, Pepsi, Pepsi Max or Gatorade as their team...

Not even worth finding a picture for tbh. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Never answer your phone when your brother rings. 2. Didn’t watch because I did answer the phone. My mistake was answering the phone. Hopefully the first point will prevent anyone else making said mistake ie answering the phone. 3. I’m out of the football game. It’s all about vocal coaching and chocolate pizzas. 4. Chocolate. 5. Pizzas. 6. Whatever next?! 7....