Benno (@Benglorious) Oh right, interviews is the gag this week is it? Well here’s my interview with Steve Rogers, AKA Captain America: ME: Hi, Steve. Can I call you ‘Steve’? CA: I’d prefer ‘Captain’ or ‘Cap’. ME: Ok, Steve. Are you a United or a Leicester fan? CA: No, I don’t follow British sports. ME: Great stuff, Steve. You’re one of the most celebrated heroes on the planet. To what would you dedicate your unbelievable success? CA: Drugs.   Opposition Summary:  Leicester...

That was fun. That game had everything. Apart from everything that it didn’t. Give Dave and Tony M everyone elses’ wages. Apart from all the people who have nothing to do with this professional football club. Lol @ professional.       Five things we learned: 1. I liked it when Rooney ran into the post and I thought he had internal injuries. 2. I also liked it when Fellaini scored another perfect Fellaini goal....

 Benno (@Benglorious) It’s FA Cup day!! The ultimate pinnacle conclusive game of the season, and we’re in it! This is the payoff we deserve after a hard-fought season, full of ups and downs and shimmys and shakes. *phone rings* “Hello, thanks for calling Bifurcated. How may I help you on this fine day of football?…………Semi-final, you say?……..So, what – like just one half?…………ANOTHER GAME?!? Do we need to w…………And it’s Watford or Palace nex………….What do you...

Roondog is well and truly back. Run tell your Mamma. Scream it from the rooftops. Throw a party for some friends you haven’t seen since like forever. Live today like it’s your last. Tell that man or woman in the office that you flirt with occasionally, that you would leave your husband or wife and children for a sniff of his or her gusset. Sing. Dance. Rejoice. Overdose on this unparalleled joy. Lol @ The...

 Benno (@Benglorious) I’m off out to find a senior creative player. Don’t even care what sport they’re from. Octopush looks like fun. Opposition Summary: Crystal Palace are a team without a history. Or a future. Or a present. Not even sure they’re a real team tbh. If they are, they play in shirts they stole from Barcelona in the 1980’s.    Prediction: Rashford. 0-0 United.    Tom (@tom_mcghee) Are we playing Palace today? Words, don’t come...

Brett’s still crying into his magnificent chest hair, so the onus is yet again on yours truly to bring the mad review skills. Two wins in the space of four days equals the Premiership League record for most wins in four days over two completely different competitions. Vangle clearly is a manager who knows his onions – if only he could apply the same mentality to his day job.   Here’s what we learned, direct...

Brett’s too busy crying over being stood up for the eightieth time in six days to write this review. Or he’s too busy with work, I forget what he said now.  West Ham were the opponents for this cup game and I bet they wished they’d spent more money on players rather than wasting it on expensive bubbles. Rashford was the key, for the nine hundredth time this season, with a goal so good that...

 Benno (@Benglorious) With a convincing FA Cup win over West Ham during the week, Vangle proved yet again why he is firmly in the top two of United managers in the post-Fergie era. Four more years of this, please. Easily the highlight of Wednesday’s game was young Marcus Rashford keeping his fairy tale season going by giving it acker ping top bangs to give United the lead and win me a not inconsiderable amount of cash...

   Benno (@Benglorious) Another Wednesday night, another replay. Not the good kind of replay like seeing Carlos Alberto’s goal in the 1970 World Cup final again, or getting a free ball on the pinball, or that episode of Murder, She Wrote that had the headless horseman in it, or when United played West Ham again after a tepid 1-1 draw at Old Trafford. Wait. Wish I’d just copied and pasted an old preview now. That’s what a winner...

So, we managed to stop Hurricane scoring. We also managed to not allow them to score for more minutes of the game than they scored in. We also managed to keep one team from scoring all game. We also managed to get on the telly. What does Vangle have to do to convince you fickle, mal-contented, nothing-is-ever-good-enough, here today, gone tomorrow, fans???!!! Here’s five things we learned that you were probably too pre-occupied by your...

 Benno (@Benglorious) Do you like the picture of Vangle but feel as if you’ve seen it somewhere else on something funnier that someone else actually put some real time and effort into? Well, you’re wrong. This picture is different because it’s on our website. I’m no lawyer, but I’m pretty sure that we can’t get sued because they can’t try a husband and wife for the same crime. Besides, Brett drew it and I did the...