Benno (@Benglorious) So many games in so little time.  It’s like Christmas all over again but without the traditional burning of churches.  Burnley are the opponents tonight.  They’re from Burnley, which got its name from *insert your own tired joke here*. Prediction:  Vangle will be looking to prove FAT SAM’S long ball theories wrong tonight with a GRAND SLAM of majestic goals so he’ll be able to SPEAKEASY at his next press conference.  YOUNG JODIE FOSTER will...

Give us this day our Danny Blind and forgive us our long passes, as we were playing them that long pass against us. And lead us not into tenth place please; with deliveries from Tony. Four-Five-One is the kingdom. And the power, and the glory, for Ander Herrera. Amen. Capper Roondog has come under a lot of criticism recently from the United fateful. Whereas others find it easy to defend him: Coulson and Nelson from...

Benno (@Benglorious) Poor old Ander Herrera.  First, Vangle calls him a nice guy and then says he’s a great player.  The guy can’t catch a break.  Anyone would think there’s better players ahead of him in the team rather than football-related legal issues that could be damaging to United in the future.  My advice to Ander is to steal the captain’s armband off Rooney when he’s sleeping off a Haribo binge.  That would make him...

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I keep going to the river to pray, cause I need something that can wash all the Wayne. And at most I’m sleeping all these demons away. But your ghost … the ghost of Roo it keeps me awake. My friend had Roo figured out. Yeah, they saw what’s inside of Roo. Trying to hide in another Roo. But your evil is coming through. Those guys sitting on the wall. They watch every move Roo...

  Benno (@Benglorious) I don’t know much about replays (nobody does) but I really don’t want to sit through that drab 0-0 again (nobody does), so why BT Sport are showing the game again, nobody does.  It would make more sense (the cup’s format, not that previous sentence) for the two teams involved to play a completely new game as a way of deciding who goes through to the next round of the FA Cup...

I learned a valuable lesson this week: when something wins it’s British, and when it loses it’s Scottish. Not exactly sure of the benefits of being British, apart from you don’t have to pay for stuff with paper money that people want to throw house bricks at you for using, on site, and I suppose you don’t have to be a ginger. Geographically, I don’t think there’s much in it. What’s the little island called...