United fan and friend of Bifurcated Chewie (@RoughEstateDate) was logging on to Twitter, when the screen on her phone started to spew out boiling hot cake-mix! Just as it was running down her hand, she woke up … *phew* it was all just a dream. She was about to log on to twitter to tell everyone about said dream, but her phone was now a baked cake with candles on and that. We have no idea where this is going – needless to say the...

Oh dear. If Nani was being judged on that game alone and we were in a different time, he’d be taken down to the old pond round the back and drowned; Fergie would count himself lucky not to be following him. The players were awful, but Fergie’s team selection and the way he set us up was embarrassing and ultimately the reason for how bad we were. I’ve been applauding the teams Fergie’s been putting...

I would genuinely rather we’d lost this game, if it would have saved Martin O’Neill and therefore prevented Di Canio from getting in. We’re not really storming to the 20th title are we? More bloody minded stumbling towards the finishing line with our shoelaces tied, which I think is possibly the best analogy ever, for our whole season, ever. Oh Twitter, look what you’re missing. p.s Well done to pre-match guest Juan, for getting it exactly...

I’m still trying to work out the logistics of watching this game in full: having been very kindly bought a ticket to see Bristol City vs Sheffield Wednesday on the same day (at least I think I’ve had the ticket bought?! I hope they don’t want any money for it. It’s only right that you get paid to watch Bristol City, right?!). All the things I said, ALL the things I said (sounds like the...

Our internet friends are always welcome to share some of their ‘Pre and Post Match’ thoughts with us from now on. If you want to share, get in touch! You can still enjoy my nonsensical, confusing, punctuation buffets below their proper good ones… Juan: (@theredinsider) Manchester United Supporters Love Drama The Red Devils are on course for winning a record 20th English Championship and have presented themselves with a decent opportunity to make a remarkable...

I didn’t see the game and only saw the highlights on MOTD2, so am in no position to comment. Lucky you. By all accounts Reading made a good fist of it and we were a tad lucky. The most important result of the weekend was at Goodison, so the three points are good enough – though good football is nice too sometimes. MOTM: Rio for the assist.

How many times do we have to play Reading in a season? Have we entered a parallel Universe, whereby we’re actually in the Scottish Prem? We must have played Reading at least eleventy million times already. As I’ve said before I don’t have any time for Reading, which is handy, cus I can copy and paste exactly what I said before one of the other times we’ve played them: not only do they actively employ...

Good friend of Bifurcated Angela Hallmark (@whitepele10) was putting the finishing touches to her OaRtVP submission, when the Grazia magazine on the table next to her flicked open and the pages began to fan quickly, before it flew off the table! Before she could work out what was the hell was going on, the Bifurcated Train appeared (The budget is running low in the special effects department, so we had to cut that stunt short)!  The conductor handed her...

To say we looked really, really, really, really tired would be a massive understatement (albeit in an overstated way). The two early goals were like a band-aid, covering the emotional and physical scars from Tuesday … and we almost got away with it. Carrick and Cleverley were lively to begin with and I thought Carrick was going to dominate. Our defence was dealing with them comfortably and Chicha was starting to enjoy himself, but that...