Anderson. (I’ve actually run out of time, but I’d say it’s a solid pre-match statement – makes more sense than my usual s-h-one-t) Prediction: 2-1 Goals: Anderson, O.G

This feature-length directorial debut from Carlos Cuarón sees Gael García Bernal and Diego Luna re-conjoin like they do (see: Y Tu Mamá También and most other films one or the other is in) to create a dromedy (do people say that?) attempting to satirise contemporary Mexico. I’m a little bit of a fan of Gael García Bernal and Diego Luna, so was always going to enjoy Rudo Y Cursi. Like at Christmas: I’ll eat any mince pie...

Typical, I’m away for a few days and not only does Jonny Evans return, but he goes and scores and I miss two golden opportunities to unveil my Jonny picture. There were a few minutes where some of you may have been crossing your fingers, hoping QPR would keep their lead so, – as promised – I would stop writing these things. Never mind, I’ll make a similar promise again soon. I’m so, so happy...

He may no longer play for United, but we have managed to get our grubby little hands on the archived, top-secret, investigations he undertook while he was still under our employment... At Manchester United, without even a sniff of football as a distraction, Micky Owen had now held the position as SAF’s own personal detective for a whole year. He performs his monthly investigations along with spirit guide Eric and lackadaisical partner Berba. We think...

There’s a script somewhere that has Sparky beating us and therefore saving his job – the only problem is the plot is riddled with character flaws. I’m willing to go as far as to say that if we lose this game, I will stop writing these things for good. Oi! Who said they’d “be supporting QPR then” out loud?! The loss midweek, in the Champions League, will have every little negative impact on the moral...

Well, that wasn’t so bad. Of course, it’s never great to lose, and even in “meaningless” games it does impact the moral of the squad to a degree. However, I think there’ll be a lot of positives taken from this game. Brilliant to see Phil Jones back in the team, Nick Powell continues to show glimpses of what he’s capable of and all in all – against really good quality oppostion, who could have easily...

The endlessly repeated dialogue between rival fans, where the same clichéd ”bantz” are regurgitated over and over and over and over – akin to two blue bottle flies, either side of a pain of glass, attempting to fly at one another. The dispute inevitably runs out of steam, with nothing resolved or learned. The protagonists fall back into the shadows, where they lay in wait – readying themselves to go again. The endlessly repeated dialogue between rival...

(This is a piece of art I did at art school – won’t bore you with the full story) With us through, and qualified top, I’m just going to sit back and enjoy the rest of the Champions League games. A great opportunity to nurse a few players back to fitness and give some experience (other cliches – as always – are available). The games aren’t going to be easy, with qualification still up for...

I was spending the evening after this game, with a couple of friends – one a united fan, and the other very much not. The second friend didn’t support United, because Rooney looks like a pig. In a strange way that put the game into perspective. Sometimes you win when you haven’t played well. Sometimes you lose when you have. Sometimes, sometimes, sometimes. The looks on the faces of the players as they were coming...

Seems a lot of people are referring to this game in terms of what happened last time round – remembering Giggsy’s goal and the result, and perhaps forgetting how poor we were for the other ninety-something minutes, only saved by some amazing goalkeeping from De Gea. All Giggsy sentiment aside (he was pretty poor that day too), I really wouldn’t want to wish for a repeat. Norwich are a mildly different beast this season, –...

United fan, and good friend of Bifurcated, Liz Worsley (@LizWorsley) was sketching out some drawings for her brilliant blog My Sports Toons, when she was disturbed by the  sound of a flushing toilet?! It was only the Bifurcated  Train Conductor using her bathroom – we promise we’ll have words (I hope he washed his hands).   The conductor handed Liz a £1 coin and gestured towards the direction of the platform in a nonchalant manner (He thinks he...