United fan Surge Biscuits (@NoHeroesHere) – blogger on various sites including his own Blatant Red – was uploading a few photos to Instagram when the glass of water on the table beside him began to tremble (like in dinosaur films and that). This was no dinosaur, no, this was the arrival of the Bifurcated Train! (Although having said that, the “jokes” are pretty old now.) The conductor tossed Surge a £1 coin and after a swift and somewhat surprisingly nimble display of...

We’re inviting some of our Twitter friends to share some of their ‘Pre and Post Match’ thoughts with us from now on. You can still enjoy my nonsensical, confusing punctuation buffets – below their proper good ones…   Iwan: (@Iwanlehnert) Apprehensive. That’s as easily as I can describe it. Beating Cluj, despite being away from home, was expected and whilst they pressed for an equaliser late on, winning 2-1 was the least we could do....

It finally happened last night: It finally stopped being surreal for me to see RVP in a United shirt. Well, it’s still a “bit weird”. It’s got more than a lot to do with him being amazing. His finishing has blinded me to the strange dream like state I was in. And thank god for his finishing too. It’s difficult to talk about these early European games without giving them their proper context. Fergie obviously...

We’re inviting some of our Twitter friends to share some of their ‘Pre and Post Match’ thoughts with us from now on. You can still enjoy my nonsensical, confusing punctuation buffets below their proper good ones…   Iwan (@IwanLehnert): No Carrick, Scholes or Giggs in the squad that flew out to Romania, then. Whatever Ferguson says in the press, he will have noticed what happened to that trio against Spurs and it would’ve hurt. I’d...

We’re inviting some of our Twitter friends to share some of their ‘Pre and Post Match’ thoughts with us from now on. You can still enjoy my nonsensical, confusing punctuation buffets below their proper good ones…   IWAN (@IwanLehnert) : I blame my headphones breaking this morning for the fact I had a full forty minute walk to work to mull over pretty much every aspect of Saturday’s match for what felt like the third...

We’re inviting some of our Twitter friends to share some of their ‘Pre and Post Match’ thoughts with us from now on. You can still enjoy my nonsensical, confusing punctuation buffets below their proper good ones… Iwan (@IwanLehnert): Hate’s a strong word. I don’t really hate Oasis, I just really dislike them. I never really hated cauliflower in my youth, just couldn’t stomach its healthiness. But if you were looking for a word to describe...

I did not have a clue that that was Cleverley’s first ever goal for the club … how rubbish is he? Just messin’ wid yer. But seriously. Never. Scored. For. Us. Before. Sort it out ClevZ. Was very impressed with our yoof, okay VERY is a bit of an exaggeration in the context of the evening (the game wasn’t the highest quality) but still. I don’t know if you know – because the commentators only...

United fan and Bifurcated friend Tricia (@Tr16ia) was scouring YouTube for old clips of Roy, when she was suddenly disturbed by a screeching of steam engine wheels. The Bifurcated Train doesn’t run on steam – it was just a cheap sound effect – nonetheless it had arrived! The conductor tossed Tricia a £1 coin and beckoned her with his finger towards the platform. There, of course, was only one train waiting to depart, there was only one destination...

On an emotionally charged day for many the game thankfully played out relatively trouble free. Suarez shook hands. Fergie’s letter was well received. Calls for calm from all quarters were respected. Let’s hope those responsible for such an appalling injustice can be held to account. The game itself said much about the form of the two sides as Liverpool looked clunky and couldn’t find the net and we were showing just what being ‘slow starters’...

I’m going to the pub to watch this game, hence my prediction of an exciting 3-2 thriller. Having said that, I still can’t see us keeping a clean sheet – even though we have kept one – ever (at the moment). AND I can’t see Newcastle competing on all fronts – so fielding an especially weakened team; so my prediction is based on those two things as well. But more on the ‘me watching it’...