I haven’t seen the Panorama documentary, so admittedly can’t really speak specifically about the questions it raises. However, something the Norwegian Prime Minister, Jens Stoltenberg, said in the wake of Andres Breivick’s actions has really stuck with me. He reiterated that “more openness and not less” was the answer. That a more open society must be preserved. The people of Norway would not allow this to effect their civil liberties. I think it’s important for...

As part of our Euro 2012 special stuff we’ve invited the three lions to board the Bifurcated Train. With the help of our previous guests we’ve picked them out some of our favourite England related songs to inspire them in Poland and Ukraine. Yes, this kind of blog fodder has been done on numerous occasions before, but when has the use of cliche stopped us in the past? Here’s the train now… The conductor held out...

You surely remember irksome cutlery-botherer Uri Geller’s attempts to get the nation to fondle Beckham’s foot through the telly box? Harnessing the power of our collective minds and positivity to help it heal? No? Well, we’ve done our own lo-fi version anyway…   So, what are you waiting for?  

He may no longer play for United, but we have managed to get our grubby little hands on  the archived, top-secret, investigations he undertook while he was still under our employment... At Manchester United, without having regular football as a distraction, Micky Owen was allowed to develop his detective skills. Under the tutelage of his spirit guide Eric and with the help of his trusty side-kick Hargo he was providing the club and SAF with something very...

United fan Silje Skarsbo (@_Miss_United_) who runs her own site Watch me rule the world and blogs for The Faithful MUFC was grabbing a quick fag outside when she was  disturbed by the sound of screeching wheels. You guessed it, it was the Bifurcated Train causing havoc. The conductor leaped from the drivers cab and tossed her a  £1 coin and lead her in the direction of the platform. There was only one train waiting to...

  As we have come to expect around the time when the transfer window flaps open, we are once again inundated with speculation as to who will come in and fill the gaping holes in our midfield. We can surely expect at least one arrival to ease our midfield malaise. Did you here that David Gill? AT LEAST. The questions are simple, none of our usual messing about. Who do you want rid of? Who do you want...

We’re still celebrating our 1st Birthday! Next up for a trip on the much maligned Bifurcated Train, Bifurcated creator David Abbott and here it is now…   The conductor tossed him a  £1 coin and held out his hand  to lead him in the direction of the platform.  *BUZZ* Yep, same gag. It’s painful isn’t it? There was only one train waiting to depart, there was only one destination… Canvey Island!   At the other end he...

Next on the Bi-Player we return to Red Fergie’s Bife Stories. This week we are celebrating reaching the grand old age of one on this here site by letting you know a bit more about us! We have pumped Red Fergie full of maximum strength tranquilisers again, so lets get going before they start to wear off (contains some strong language) …   Och, many of us know boss of Bifurcated David, actually, no wait,...

Aston Villa fan (Boo!) and good  friend of Bifurcated Joe Sharratt (@fiveinmidfield) who writes the superb Five in Midfield was contemplating counting up his pocket change to have Emile Heskey as guest of honour at his next birthday party when there was an eerie tapping from the ceiling above. As he started shuffling awkwardly in his chair his alarm went off and he bolted up right. This was no dream … The Bifurcated Train had...