If ever a game’s relevance was based on events elsewhere then this is it. In a roundabout way there might not be any need for us to even play this game at all. Let the players have the weekend off, especially the players heading to the Euros, they can be that little bit fresher. Actually, as not many of them are English, let them play it, so they’re that bit more tired. Still with me?...

United fan and friend of Bifurcated Steph Doehler (@stephdoehler) was stepping out to explore her new surroundings after moving home. As she turned the corner to head around the block, you’ll never guess what happened? Yes, you’ve guessed it … There waitin for her, was the Bifurcated Train!   The conductor tossed her a  £1 coin and held out his hand  to lead her in the direction of the platform. There was only one train waiting to depart, there...

 “Lying finds champions in those who recognise that without lies people would have no inner privacy, that life might be infected with boredom and despair, and much evil could result.” A.C Grayling, The Meaning of Things, 2001   A week or so ago I flexed my somewhat flaccid blogging community muscle and submitted my ‘Pet Hate’ over at My Dog Hates Football. However, I have a confession to make … my submission was in fact...

Hardly entirely convincing, but more than good enough. I’ve run out of things to say really. The problems are the problems. The positives are the positives. Ashley Young is still physically protesting his outrage towards gravity, nice goal though. Thought Chicha was looking sharp in spells. Always nice to see Berba, if only a fleeting a glance. MOTM: T.V And so, the season again goes to the final day. Get used to this quote from...

I’m getting really fed up of Mancini’s pretence that he’s given up on the title. In the first instance it wasn’t funny, now the joke that never had a punchline is just excruciating. After his general behaviour recently I was starting to *in hushed tones* actually like him a bit. I particularly enjoyed his gesturing back at SAF on the touchline during the derby … but, NOW, I just want us to piss all over...

Spurs fan (Boo!) and good  friend of Bifurcated Greg Theoharis (@sofalife) who writes the very impressive Dispatches From a Football Sofa was marking some of his student’s coursework when he heard a gentle tap at the window. As he opened the curtains to take a little look he wasn’t surprised to find the Bifurcated Train, because he’d submitted his songs ages and ages ago. (I blame privatisation!) The conductor tossed him a  £1 coin and held out his hand to...

Whether it’s either, as we might imagine, simply the vitriol of knuckle-headed-knuckle-dragging bigots, or the calculated actions of debauched marketing strategists attempting to shift some units – are we really THAT surprised by this virulent nonsense anymore? Pseudo-moralising (usually on Twitter) is entirely ineffectual and only propagates their unflinching malevolence. STOP. F*CKING. BUYING. IT.   They had a Page 3 Girl, as part of their ‘News In Briefs’ section, commenting on the Richard Keys and Andy...

(Oh, how foolish of me, I appear to have attached the wrong photo.) For a United team that was, according to SAF, set up to attack, it looked suspiciously like a team doing an impression of a team set up to park the bus. I can go along with SAF’s periodical megalomaniacal team selections, but to leave T.V out was something I couldn’t get behind, or really see any sense in. The main fault (reason...

The game that at various points of the season wasn’t sure whether it was going to be the title decider or not, has ended up being just that and then some, almost. This effed up season has been so inappropriately and unabashedly wonderful at points, that soon the universe will run out of superlatives and we’ll have to resort to simply coming up with the most convoluted puns imagined to describe what on earth is...

He may no longer play for United, but we have managed to get our grubby little hands on  the archived, top-secret,  investigations he undertook while he was still under our employment... Micky’s crime fighting has taken him from the desolation on the streets of Liverpool, to the destitution on the streets of Newcastle, via the underworld of Spanish gambling cartels.  Now Micky with the help of his trusty sidekick Hargo and spirit guide Eric (A quantum leap...