Postgame

You have to feel for Rooney. Probably. On the very same day that video of him getting knocked out by Phil Bardsley is leaked on to the internet, he scores a goal in front of a packed Old Trafford, and is instantly confronted by a ghost, who offers him out, and knocks him out again! […]

Nothing obliterates the myth that modern footballers “do their homework” in state of the art video suites more, than Ashley Young’s trick still beating any amount of full backs than is reasonable. They’re playing Daley Thompson on their Sinclair Spectrums, like the rest of us. p.s Down with the return of Ashley Young’s tendrils and […]

Thought for the day: #therewillbehaterz

Thought for the day:

I read* an interesting** article*** yesterday: according to the statters, that’s the first time Swansea have beaten us since the last time we played them; stretching back as far as that was. And I was talking**** to some***** Swansea fans, and they told me Garry Monk was prroud of the rresult, cos he had a […]

Special Guest PNE Fan Hanna (@Hannamayj) When I signed up for this (I didnt sign up for this, I was held against my will) I didn’t realise it would extend to banter at both ends so here’s a match review which may or may not include mostly fan fiction… I arrived at Deepdale to the […]

If the Universe was truly balanced then RVN would jump up behind Martin Keown like an evil clown on acid every time he opened his mouth. Next time he’s on Match of the Day, I’ll be putting my foot through the telly and sending Gary Crisps the etc… This match played out like the Hallmark […]

Give us this day our Danny Blind and forgive us our long passes, as we were playing them that long pass against us. And lead us not into tenth place please; with deliveries from Tony. Four-Five-One is the kingdom. And the power, and the glory, for Ander Herrera. Amen. Capper Roondog has come under a […]

I keep going to the river to pray, cause I need something that can wash all the Wayne. And at most I’m sleeping all these demons away. But your ghost … the ghost of Roo it keeps me awake. My friend had Roo figured out. Yeah, they saw what’s inside of Roo. Trying to hide […]

I learned a valuable lesson this week: when something wins it’s British, and when it loses it’s Scottish. Not exactly sure of the benefits of being British, apart from you don’t have to pay for stuff with paper money that people want to throw house bricks at you for using, on site, and I suppose […]

Didn’t see it. I did hear Vangle saying everything was against us. Which sounds pretty unfair, and makes coming away with a draw a very sound result. I’ve just made a list of all the things I know (below) and even if it was only these things that were against us it would be especially […]