Tonight we’ll finally get a clue as to how seriously we are really taking the Europa League when we see the line up. I can’t help but feel we’ll be disappointed. The strong team (as I keep banging on about) we put out for the first leg against Ajax was, I think, more a consequence of having no fixture the following weekend, than a sign of any intent in the competition. Hopefully we’ll find a...

RIGHT! You, you, and you at the back with your two hands up, outside NOW! I’ll be out in a minute to give you a really good telling off. Look at him ——————————————–> You’ve really upset him now. Poor Paddy; you heartless beasts. Look, before you start, left backs are all rubbish at defending, FACT,  so, you can’t hold that against him. If you think Evra needs replacing we want a ruddy good reason why....

One of the worst performances I’ve witnessed all season. Carrick in particular, first half, was very poor in possession and none of the front players had turned up with the intention of using any of their critical faculties. But … It’s absolutely terrifying how we managed to come away with that scoreline. If you listen carefully you can probably hear the spirit of Mancini cracking. Young and Carrick were awful (Carrick improved when Scholesy was subbed), only eclipsed by Nani....

I quite clearly don’t want this to be the score, I’d much rather an “X” amount of goals thriller, but as sometimes tends to happen when two generally attacking teams meet, they cancel each other out. Great that Scott Parker is out and even better if Bale is too. I don’t buy this, beating a team fair and square when they’ve got their full compliment of players available, is more of a ‘proper’ victory, nonsense....

  Friend of Bifurcated Jay Goolaup (@yashi2612 ) was off down to the  local shops to pick up some bits, but as he opened his front door he stumbled across a train station that had appeared on the pavement outside his house. The conductor handed him a £1 coin and pointed towards the platform. There was only one train waiting to depart, there was only one destination …   Canvey Island! (Yep, okay smart arse, you’d probably have to disembark at Benfleet, as Canvey...

As part of a series, Bi-Literal, we are inviting writers and creative types to submit their short stories, poems and prose with a football theme. Here’s the second one in the series by our very own Brett (contains strong language).   Saturday morning, 7:30 am. I’d forgotten the clocks started this early in the night. A fella, who I presume is the landlord, is sweeping up fag butts and glass from the entrance walkway to...

Only have one thing to say about this game: I love Ryan Giggs. After what we’ve learned about him over the past 12 months it’s difficult to agree with SAF that he’s an ‘amazing man’, but in a football context, amazing doesn’t even get close.

Without having heard yet whether Rooney (if ever ill at all) is fit it’s hard to predict. I think with Rooney playing, with the little hints from him of his better form sprouting lately, we’ll have easily enough to get the points. Without him we have the potential to struggle (always). Norwich have impressed on their return to the top division, yes, but still shouldn’t really pose as much of a problem as some are...

He may no longer play for United, but we have managed to get our grubby little hands on the archived, top-secret, investigations he undertook while he was still under our employment... A young Micky escaped the evil clutches of Liverpool’s gang of petty criminals and thugs just before they started dropping the soap in the showers.  Traumatised by his experience he spent the next few years in the underbelly of the gambling cartels of Spain...

Whoever keeps inviting Buzz killington to these European nights give it up? As soon as we took our metaphorical foot off the gas after going ahead the game drifted towards its inevitable conclusion. Nani needs to seriously get a life. I don’t know exactly what I mean by that, but I know I really mean it. Berba showed glimpses (as did others), de Gea did alright, but everyone needs a rap on the knuckles and bed...

With the Norwich game on Sunday I’m pretty sure we’ll see a side out that will look a lot more like our Europa League line-ups will when we’ve got a Prem fixture at the weekend … “Experimental”. They’ve got to come at us, so will, I’ve no doubt be just as, if not more, adventurous than in the first leg and they are very capable of causing an upset (against a weakened United team). The...