Can’t wait to watch Liverpool collect the Champions League title, to cap another wonderful week in the club’s recent history. Here’s 5 things we learned, apart from that Phil Jones is a legend: 1. I think I preferred it when ferguson was in charge. 2. I actually enjoyed the Royal Wedding more and I didn’t watch it. 3. It was a shit show of a final but at least we can concentrate on the league...

     (@Benglorious) The FA Cup final. Today is when we finally see the results of our 38 training matches this season culminate in a tactical masterclass, leading to United winning the most important, if not the only, trophy in European club football. Winning the FA Cup for the second time in his career will be Jose Mourinho’s crowning achievement, eclipsing Arsene Wenger’s paltry seven wins in the competition, and confirming the Special One as...

Goodbye Michael Carrick, you were a wonderful … I’m gonna say … midfielder man?!   WOOOOHHHHOOOOOOOO!! NO MORE RUDDY GAMwhat? FA Cup what? FFS.   Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Didn’t watch it on a stream or even the highlights that’s how little I care now. 2. Agents of SHIELD was lovely, Fitz & Simmons got married. 3. I listened to the Liverpool game on the radio because I was repairing plaster. 4. They...

  (@Benglorious) Football’s out for summer Football’s out for ever That last one’s probably not 100% accurate but you have to hand some artistic licence to Mr Cooper, whether you’re hanging with him or not. You also have to give the man some serious credit: he literally has a song for every occasion – when school’s out, when you need to get elected, when there’s poison, when you’ve got a hungry Frankenstein… The list goes...

JFC, STILL ONE MORE GAME TO GO! KILL ME! NOW! PLEASE! Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Football is a great game. I love it so much. 2. It is the greatest game and I love it. 3. More like Mark IG-Noble !! 4. More like IDGI-Noble !! 5. I love football more than all of us and me combined.

    (@Benglorious) It’s always great playing West Ham, especially fifteen times in three weeks. Sometimes we even beat them. Except when Blackburn won the league that one time. Ask your dad. Or Paul. Whichever one actually remembers. Paul. Prediction: Rooney to score from anywhere up to 70 yards away but only if he plays. Martial to do a madness and Zlatan to kick the ref’s face off. The goal stands. 0-0 United.    (@tom_mcghee)...

A If we can beat all the top teams, and yet get beaten by all the worst teams, and yet can win, lose, or draw against all the mid-table teams, and still finish se, no I’ve forgotten my etc.     Here’s another 5 things we learned, even if we haven’t learned what the league is called: 1. One of the worst games of the season and we’ve had a fair few to choose from...

(@Benglorious) I still can’t believe there’s games left in this shitpot season. At least we’ve got the whole summer to get a break from football. Prediction: Brighton to have an interesting concept, but make poor use of Will Smith, have a terrible plot and just not be a cohesive piece of filmmaking. How can you fuck up a film about orcs with machine guns?!? Goals for Lingard and Martial. 0-0 United. m  (@tom_mcghee) Legit had no...

a He drinks a Whiskey drink, he drinks a Vodka drink. He drinks a Lager drink, he drinks a Cider drink. He sings the songs that remind him of the good times. He sings the songs that remind him of the best times… Who ‘He’ is … I guess we’ll never know.     Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Give Fellaini Brett’s wages. 2. His pockets are not deep enough. 3. And besides are filled with hundreds...