United vs. Arsenal
(@Benglorious) Can’t believe I’ve only just realised that his name is Arsene and he’s the owner of Arsenal. It’s like they’re twins with unimaginative parents who love butts. Prediction: Wenger to sign off in his last game against United à la Steven Gerrard; by being linked to the Rangers job. Goals for Shaw and Welbeck bookend a credible win for Watford. Wenger to get a standing ovation from the knowledgeable Old Trafford crowd until he...
FAC SF United 2 – 1 Tottenham Spurs
AND NOW YOU’RE GONNA BELIEVE US!!!! AND NOW YOU’RE GONNA BELIEVE US!!!!! AND NOW YOU’RE GONNA BELIEVE UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSS … !!!! Wait. What were we saying?! andnowyou’regonnabelieveus, andnowyou’regonnabelieveus, andnowyou’regonnabelieveus no, it’s gone. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. After a couple of minor upgrades Atreus becomes a decent ally to Kratos. 2. Herrera is the Lingard that Dele Alli thinks he is. 3. I like how every game lately has been like an A-Team episode...
FAC SF: United vs. The Ham Spurs
(@Benglorious) The sun is shining, God of War is up and running, and it’s FA Cup semi-final day. I don’t want to seem like I’m exaggerating when I say this is the greatest day in the history of our species, but it truly is the greatest day ever. Prediction: Goals for Sanchez, Pogba and Smalling give United what looks like an easy trip back to Wembley for the final until the review board awards all three...
Bournemouth vs. United
(@Benglorious) I am on holiday so suck your disappointment right on its dick. Prediction: Me to ruin my holiday for me (I’m obvs on holiday alone cos me) by constantly checking my phone to see what great a jokes Brett is tweeting tonight. 0-0 United. m (@tom_mcghee) What words? Are we playing tonight? On a Wednesday?? Make me. Seriously. Prediction: I should be able to do some words when I get home but I maybe...
United 0 – 1 West Brom
whnwkmkcsmklsnncjknsjdkcnjsnjkdnfjnsdcjnbkbkbkbfokbofbkofbkfbmkfmbmmfgdsajkhhwuoahvuinsadivninavnianvniavna xjkcsdcsdnsajvnsjvnsjdv;sdnvsdn;anvsdnavlsdlka;vnsalnvlsdnvlsd etc Here’s 5 things we sjdhfkjsdahvcjksdjkbvjkdsbauibfewbacinjknlakwecnwamc: 1. Well done, City. We’ll try harder next season maybe. 2. Fuck City suck it you blue fucks. 3. We are terrible at football.
United vs. West Brom
(@Benglorious) Brett’s back from Poland so there’s no need to do any words or jokes, cos he’s the best and whatever I write will only embarrass me when compared to his words or jokes. Prediction: I write some words or jokes and am embarrassed. 0-0 United. m (@tom_mcghee) I am out having birthday meals please put these words: fuck the haters, one love, peace. Or a good joke about Alan Pardew. Film Review: To be...
City 2 – 3 United
When it was 2-0 we were all like oh no this is so sad I want to legit kill myself and die and then when we won 2-3 we were all like omg. Here’s 5 things we learned from the derby that defined a generation: 1. Bahahahahahaha City you abso shower of cunts. 2. See above. 3. Pogba was bad in the first half and majestic in the second. 4. Something about his hair....
City vs. United
(@Benglorious) If Liverpool beat City but we beat Liverpool who beat City but we beat Liverpool who beat City but we beat Liverpool who beat City but we beat Liverpool who beat City hang on I’ve nearly got this Prediction: A last-minute winner from RVP after the best shin of all time from Rooney. 0-0 United. m (@tom_mcghee) Ahhhhhh sexy boy. I’m out. Long Long Man (2018) Of all the chewing gum adverts in the world...
United vs. Swansea
(@Benglorious) We can legit just copy and paste last week’s preview while Brett is in Poland: Brett is in Poland so we have no natural leader or a jokes. Prediction: 0-0 United. m (@tom_mcghee) As above. That aside, pretty good. Prediction: 0-0 United. m (@bifurcated_utd) I’m in Poland. In minus 26 temperatures. Survival is my priority. Prediction: Death. 0-0 United.