(@Benglorious) m Is Eddie Redmayne the new Hugh Grant or does he just need to speak up a bit? This reporter says ‘yes’. Luckily, the memory of every word he said too quietly in that film last night will soon be erased by the complete demolition of United by this season’s champions-elect, Chelsea. Was that a run-on sentence? Possibly. Is this a run-on sentence? No. Is this 150 words yet? Almost. m Prediction: Chelsea to...

Choo! Choo! Like a European express train made of not doing enough to kill of matches, with wheels made of draws, and passengers made of draws, pulling into the semi-final station of draws, at platform draws. All are bored (ALL ABOARD!).   Here’s 5 thing we learned: 1. Ghost Rider is in Agents of Shield. 2. He’s no Nicolas Cage. 3. He makes Nic Cage look like House Party 2. 4. I am so bored...

(@Benglorious) Anyone who’s ever played ‘Famous Belgians’ knows Ander Lecht, inventor of waffles and Tintin. Should be an absolute pushover. m Prediction: Goals for Poirot and Jean-Claude Van Damme will not be enough for the plucky Belgians. 0-0 United. m m  (@tom_mcghee) I ruddy love Anderlecht. I’d open a coffeshop there in a heartbeat if I thought I wouldn’t smoke all the profits.   Fast And Furious Pick A Number (2017) Vin Diesel drives a car...

Captain. Leader. Legend. Haterz gonna hate, but Fella’s gonna regulate! Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Goals are good.  

(@Benglorious) David Moyes has gone from the heady heights of success with Everton, had a lucky escape from the quagmire that is Manchester United and is now back on top again at the Premiership League’s biggest club-that-plays-in-red-and-white-and-also-won-the-1973-FA-Cup-final. He’s a modern day hero, like Achilles but without the dodgy ankle. We should all aspire to be like him. Mourinho’s career, on the other hand, has only soared meteorically since he started out teaching the Barcelona players...

The Invincibles can bite our bangers as we continue our incredible run, drawing with everything in our path like a machine made of draws. We’re like the Ikea of football: *work on the punchline for this a joke for next week. Something, something Zlatan (Swedish), something, something drawers.* Here’s 5 things we learned about the things that happened, in addition to a joke about Mourinho winning on the Pools before the season ends (backatcha Benno...

(@Benglorious) I’m sure we played yesterday, if you can call it playing lol. Yeah, Brett, I stole your joke – that’s how bad things are. m Prediction: Goals for Lukaku and Big Dunc. 0-0 United. m m  (@tom_mcghee) David Moyes sure does it bad. m Aliens (1986) James Cameron recreates Avatar (2009) shot-for-shot but before that and with good suspense and much better aliens. Hang on, is that why it’s called Aliens? I guess we’ll never know. Game over, man. That...

Fortress Old Trafford yet again proved impenetrable to yet another top tier club from yet another of Europe’s elite leagues, yet again. Here’s five things we yet again learned yet again: 1. If you don’t watch it – because you’re finishing a path – and then check Twitter afterwards, you legit can’t tell if we’ve won or lost. 2. Bricks make good paths. 3. I’m thinking about paths again. 4. See 1. but with an outside...