A talismanic frenchman scoring in a cagey 1-0 win at the business end of the season would never have happened in Fergie’s era. Call me crazee, but I’m starting to think that maybe this Vangle character should be handed his P45 innit. Martial, Rashford and Fosu-Mensah put the disappointment of being to young to feel the benefit of the introduction of the new minimum wage this week behind them, and should be commended for their...

 Benno (@Benglorious) Ah, football. It’s been too long. Or not long enough if you’re United fans like us. At least I think we’re United fans. Most people are unsure about our allegiances at the best of times and now we’ve reached a point where even we don’t know anymore. Anyway, with Lukaku banging in the goals we should have nothing to fear from this poor excuse of a United team. Opposition Summary: Manchester United used to...

The 5 most comprehensive learns you’ll ever learn: Whatevs) didn’t see it. Trevs) me neither. I like the idea of winning though. Jinxevs) same.

 Benno (@Benglorious) Writing your preview second usually means something has gone very, horribly wrong with the time/space continuum. That, or those pricks are just trying to show you up. Or you’re on holiday with very little free time to write what with all the sunbathing and drinking. The time/space continuum is probably the right answer. We’ll have to wait and saw what we will found out in the future. Opposition Summary: City are from the city...

Vangle just can’t win with you guys: A super rocket goal IN THE FIRST HALF AT OLD TRAFFORD. An untarnished record at home in Europe. HE’S NEVER LOST A HOME GAME IN EUROPE AS OUR MANAGER. NOT AFRAID to make the substitutions that bring us right back into the game. If I were Vangle, I’d set myself on fire and load myself into a cannon and fire myself off a really high cliff on to...

 Benno (@Benglorious) So far so good on avoiding the plague-carrying mosquitoes, but in focussing all my efforts on not getting injected with horrible diseases by tiny little creatures, I reunmisunderestimated an ancient and even more deadly foe: The Sun (not the newspaper – I won that particular battle years ago). I’ve been burned before and thought I’d learned my lesson, but apparently the sun in Mexico teaches at a different school, possibly in Spanish. This could...

The plucky minnows from Londons almost pulled off a giant killing of Goliath times Andre the Giant times Giant Haystacks times Jolly Green Giant proportions. However, a Martial worldy cancelled out a 25-yard hit and hope from some bloke who’s name is based on our glorious Captain Wayne Rooney’s fave question. At least for us F.A Cup romantics, it’s going to be a big payday for them, when the mighty Reds bring the media circus...

Good sulks, Sulks.

   Benno (@Benglorious) Fantastic scenes as I probably won’t be watching the match due to me going to Mexico to catch the Zika virus. May still be able to watch it with a tiny head, but scientists are unclear at this point in time. Opposition Summary: The yellow fever mosquito (Aedes Aegypti) can be recognized by white markings on its legs and a marking in the form of a lyre on the upper surface of the thorax....