United 2 – 0 Cardiff
Well, it didn’t quite live up to the hype. Lots of people left feeling short-changed, wondering what just happened, and whether there was any point. There was nothing new or exciting to celebrate; the same characters, with the same selfish agendas. The new arrival did nothing to placate the disaffected crowd. Me and Bifurcated David were at a planning scrutiny meeting for the rapid transit bus scheme in Bristol, and so missed the match...
United vs Cardiff
Ben (Benglorious): When Mr Bifurcated (I don’t know his real name) asked me to contribute to his website, I immediately asked about the remuneration package. After getting some very evasive responses, I finally realised that I was supposed to do it for free like all the other “writers”. This struck me as odd, particularly with regard to @tom_mcghee as I know him in real life and he charges me a Queenhead every time he texts...
LC: United 2 (3) – 1 (3) Sunderland
HAVE WE SIGNED MATA YET?! . . . . . WHAT ABOUT NOW?! . . . . . . HOW ABOUT NOW?! . . AND NOW?! . . HOW ABOUT NOW?! . . . . . . . . HOW ABOUT NOW?! . . AND NOW?! . . HOW ABOUT NOW?! . HOW ABOUT NOW?! . . . AND NOW?! . . HOW ABOUT NOW?! . . . . . . . . HOW...
LC: United (1) vs Sunderland (2)
HAVE WE SIGNED MATA YET?! . . . . . WHAT ABOUT NOW?! . . . . . . HOW ABOUT NOW?! . . AND NOW?! . . HOW ABOUT NOW?! . . . . . . . . HOW ABOUT NOW?! . . AND NOW?! . . HOW ABOUT NOW?! . HOW ABOUT NOW?! . . . AND NOW?! . . HOW ABOUT NOW?! . . ....
Chelsea 3 – 1 United
That was never a 3-1 game; and I hope the dubious goals panel wipe that hat-trick off the records. I’m not bitter. I’m very bitter. I wonder if the dubious sendings off panel could swap Raf’s non-red for Vidic’s? What’s with Moyes laughing so much in after-match interviews? One answer to that question – applying my best refridgerator magnet philosophy – is that he’s trying to put a brave face on the fact he’s treading...
Chelsea vs United
Tom (@Tom_McGhee): According to “King” Kenny (I certainly didn’t vote for him), this game is a ‘must-win’ for both teams. Feeling honesty is the best policy, I’ve got to say I can’t envision any scenario where that’s going to happen. If, like me, you are curious as to whether this could ever happen, ask NASA – I tried but they said they had bigger fish to fry and I didn’t have time to pursue it. Anyway, ignoring unasked for and frankly ridiculous...
Case File #1: The DIving Hell And The Footer Spy
Case File #1: The Diving Hell and The Footer Spy. In the first of his dirty, dangerous, and degrading investigations, Micky is asked by SAF to clear the name of two of his Manchester United team mates, who stand accused of the most heinous crime. Can Micky close the case, and keep the integrity of Manchester United Football Club intact..? James Konnanov (@Konnanov) is the voice of Micky. "He may no...
United vs Swansea
With Fergie literally, metaphorically, geographically (depending where he is in the stand, and Moyes is on the pitch, I s’pose), dermatologically (that’s not possible), chronologically (that’s not possible either), cryogenically (almost works), interminably (starting to work too well), abnormally (what did I just say?), aborally (that’s more like it), and dodecahedronally (now I’m just making words up to pad again) watching over Moyes from above, it’s surprising no ones thought to mention it. Is it just...
Canvey Island Cds, Tapes and Vinyl: Bettina from Berlin
Friend of Bifurcated and United fan Bettina from Berlin (beebberlin) was in her kitchen, on her laptop, trying connect to a stream of the United game. When suddenly she noticed that the stream was growing and becoming a river. The river then became a lake. And then the lake became an ocean. The ocean was carrying a ship, bearing the Bifurcated Train! The conductor tossed Bettina a one euro coin, gave her a high-zehn, and challenged her...