(@Benglorious) I think it was Chaucer who first wrote ‘Pack it up, pack it in, let me begin I came to win, battle me, that’s a sin. I won’t ever slack up, punk you better back up’ and to his credit, he was right. I’ve forgotten my point. I hope the others hope I enjoy Endgame but I bet Brett doesn’t. Prediction: Thor to be fat, [Redacted], [Redacted] and [Redacted] to die/get old. No-one mentions...

1. Fuck it, stick the McTominator in nets.

  T. Won’t be doing words today pals i legit would rather stick forks in my eyes than write about those cunts. B. Bit harsh on Chelsea. B. Seconded.

As if.

(@Benglorious) Sussed. Prediction: That to make sense when you read Tom’s. M  (@tom_mcghee) Can’t be arsed already bored of talking about it with cunts on twitter. Benno do you remember at primary school how Jody brown would always be like ‘ha, sussed’ I’m sure all of Twitter are his children. Also Abso glols at Ed trying to suggest Pogba was good at Everton. Quoted his tackling stats: 100%. How many tackles you ask? Well just the...

So glad we fucked of those preview words. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Dedham Vale is definitely an area of natural beauty but I don’t know if it’s as outstanding as they claim. 2. Fuck you Manchester United fuck you in your stupid asses you are clownshoes  you are moribund 3. Oooh check out who had a dictionary in their Easter Egg

  T. Fuck words today it is too nice outside also I’m watching megamind so far I give it 4/5 capes (my new rating for superhero films). B. I too like Megamind. B. Fourthed.

Imagine being nutmegged from 22 yards, through your arms, when your arms are your USP, and the ball is travelling slower than a stationary object in reverse… <<<< Not looking at anyone in particular. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. We are proper fucking shit and I can only see us being proper fucking shit for the foreseeable future 2. Love Ole but he was clearly the cheapest option and that’s why they chose him....

  (@Benglorious) Yet another pivotal night in United’s Champions League history. I don’t know about you, but I’m fed up with all this midweek rigmarole. Hopefully the lads feel the same and make this the last game we have to suffer through for a couple of years. Prediction: A half-hearted, going through the motions performance followed by a humble but heartfelt tribute to the fans. Better luck next time. 2-1 United. M  (@tom_mcghee) Everyone fucking loves...

A return to winning ways after an apocalyptic run of losings stretching back further than any of us can remember, might just save Ole’s job.   For now.   Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Good to see us win in the style of Manchester United of old 2. I didn’t watch it 3. I bet it was glorious though 4. Tbh I’ve been snorting coke off of Paul’s arse since 9am, so, fuck yeah...

  (@Benglorious) Remember the good times when we won games? Me neither. Prediction: Revenge taken on West Ham’s bus when we lock all the doors and throw it in the canal. Somehow we still lose. 0 – 0 United. M  (@tom_mcghee) I fell asleep on the sofa and forgot about doing words sorry guys and I’m still there and the computer is not and moving doesn’t really seem to be an option rn. Prediction: No words....