Postgame

So, we managed to stop Hurricane scoring. We also managed to not allow them to score for more minutes of the game than they scored in. We also managed to keep one team from scoring all game. We also managed to get on the telly. What does Vangle have to do to convince you fickle, […]

A talismanic frenchman scoring in a cagey 1-0 win at the business end of the season would never have happened in Fergie’s era. Call me crazee, but I’m starting to think that maybe this Vangle character should be handed his P45 innit. Martial, Rashford and Fosu-Mensah put the disappointment of being to young to feel […]

The 5 most comprehensive learns you’ll ever learn: Whatevs) didn’t see it. Trevs) me neither. I like the idea of winning though. Jinxevs) same.

Vangle just can’t win with you guys: A super rocket goal IN THE FIRST HALF AT OLD TRAFFORD. An untarnished record at home in Europe. HE’S NEVER LOST A HOME GAME IN EUROPE AS OUR MANAGER. NOT AFRAID to make the substitutions that bring us right back into the game. If I were Vangle, I’d […]

The plucky minnows from Londons almost pulled off a giant killing of Goliath times Andre the Giant times Giant Haystacks times Jolly Green Giant proportions. However, a Martial worldy cancelled out a 25-yard hit and hope from some bloke who’s name is based on our glorious Captain Wayne Rooney’s fave question. At least for us […]

Good sulks, Sulks.

  It was abrazos all round but not for Juan Mata, as he proved Mourinho and all the haterz absolutely right by single-handedly destroying all our dreams and ambitions and lives and relationships and worlds and futures and pasts and presents and historys and dreams within two first half-minutes of sheer and unadulterated and crazy […]

BAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!! WE’RE GONNA DO A TREBLE!!!! Here’s 5 things we learned about this game/life: i) If you watch the first half and it’s bad actually bad but then have to go out and come home to find it’s 1-0, it’s loads funnier. B) Watford’s mistake was missing all their chances. appendix) Streams are good except […]

MEMPHIS FULL STOP RASHFORD IN BRACKETS. Here’s the 5 things thing: 1) Beating goonsquad is always great (I re-learnt this). 2) I’ve worked out numbers. 3) Mata and Herrera and Memphis are good at football. 4) Marcus Rashford is a hammerlegend. 18) Would happily miss every match if it meant winning them all. 21) No […]

Suck on your disappointment haterzzz!!! Bangle’s voyz are so back, they’re practically made of backs!! Rashford is so hot right now: cooking bacon. Back bacon, cos of the back thing earlier. And all the other players are serving up some back bacon too, just a little bit less cooked, cos he’s the Head Chef in […]

Someone is going to have to spend the next few years stitching Shrewsbury Town a new goal hole, after Vangle’s Army went absolutely averageish, and ripped them a new one. Actually, they ripped them a new one, so someone should stop stitching a another new one, especially with the payroll capping and demands of these […]