(@Benglorious) Couldn’t.    (@tom_mcghee) Care. (@bifurcated_utd) Less.

So proud. Another none-loss at OT. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. You can make Febreze with fabric softener and water mixed in a spray bottle. 2. Beginning to think Jose Mourinho isn’t the brilliant tactician I thought he was [insert homer running in circles on the ground gif or don’t who fucking cares] 3. Remember that season when we were like 7th all season man I miss that season

  (@Benglorious) I ain’t. Prediction: I ain’t. m  (@tom_mcghee) You should see my fucking Instagram. Also i just saw an interview where Liverpool keeper Alison is described as ‘Liverpool’s lean, erect, handsome finger man’ and I want to know who stole my book of homoerotic poems to Benno. Prediction: Phil Jones. 3-2 West Ham, Barrels rolled out for a good ol fashioned cockney knees up with Mother Brown aka a smack party m (@bifurcated_utd) I find that...

Great to see we avoided defeat at OT. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Sometimes you just have to call a draw a draw. 2. What penalties?!  

(@Benglorious) Couldn’t.    (@tom_mcghee) Care. m (@bifurcated_utd) Less.

Proof if were needed that we are exactly the same as City. They drew 1-1 with Wolves. We drew 1-1 with Wolves. The same. Exactly the same. Same. The English Premier League Table needs to get it’s act together and sort it out. SAME. Here’s another 5 things we learned: 1. I very legit cannot watch us atm, it is so fucking boring I would actively prefer talking to you two cunts 2.Someone needs to...

  (@Benglorious)  (@tom_mcghee) Can’t do words today pals please make up some. Although I don’t think Wolves should be allowed to be football unfair on both sides imho Be football? I’d’ve said ‘play football’ makes more sense that way imho you bald cunt Though kicking wolves around for 90 minutes would be unfair too Don’t think it’d play out like that tbh they hunt in packs unless they’re lone wolf aka Texas Ranger I’m also...

United’s Champions’ League campaign got off to a start as the first game was played of United’s Champions’ League campaign at the start of the Champions’ League campaign.   Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Plastic pitches get stitches 2. Heard the goals were good 3. Love that Shaman song 4. Love how that a Shaman joke never gets boring 5. Who asked you?

  (@Benglorious) Young girl, get out of my mind My love for you is way out of line Better run girl You’re much too young girl m Fuck. That ain’t right. m Prediction: United to get one over on Liverpool by having a player with no working eyes. His name is Jones. Phil Jones. 0-0 United. m  (@tom_mcghee) After being called a kid mauler, kid rapist and paedophile last week there is no way I’m...

And it seems to me you play your games Like a team in the wind Never fading in the second half When the pain set in And your football will always fall here Along England’s greenest pitches Your team burned out long before Our Lukaku ever will.   Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Alexis Sanchez is this generations William Prunier ie the very worst 2. No sign of Marcus Rashford. Or his body. Cover-up?...

(@Benglorious) I am not doing my dogshit words today cos I am sick and tired of always being upstaged by Brett and his really amazing words. Skip to the end to read Brett’s part, and don’t read this to avoid disappointment. Prediction: You will have already have skipped to the end cos Me and Mcghee. m  (@tom_mcghee) Hearing rumours that Watford are actually good now and have 12 points from a possible 12 points. Stick that in...