Did you ever hear the best-selling, blockbuster movie story about the basket of all the disappointment that we sucked on after Wednesday 24th May 2017? No. Well, we’ve copyrighted it. And our lawyers are completing their online lawyer course. So, bite our bangers. Here’s 5 things we learndured: 1. Rooney still has a lot to give 2. Volunteering at a charity shop. 3. Where he can be that plastic guide dog you put money in...

(@Benglorious) Is the season over yet? Is the season over yet? Is the season over yet? Is the season over yet? Is the season over yet? Is the season over yet? Is the season over yet? Is the season over yet? Is the season over yet? Is the season over yet? Is the season over yet? Is the season over yet? Is the season over yet? Is the season over yet? Prediction: The season to be over, yet there still to...

Despite our best efforts over the previous 75 games, we have finally (finally is another word for Fellaini) made it to the final (final is another word for Fellaini) of the Europa League. United’s Europa League campaign = Derren Brown’s infamous Russian Roulette trick. But with us preferring the chamber was full of live rounds. Doo-Doo-Doo-Doo-De-De-De-De-Doo, De-De-Doo… Doo-Doo-Doo-Doo-De-De-De-De-Doo, De-De-Doo … it’s the final clown shoes.   Here’s 5 things we learned about our historic final...

    (@Benglorious) Tonight is make or break, do or die, dog eat dog, boy meets world, girl on girl, north by northwest for United. The Europa League is our last shot at being big time Charlies this season, but there’s always the chance we will massively balls it up. Well, not even massively knowing us. Prediction: A debut goal for Rashford on his debut followed by Herrera literally being scared to death by his...

Losing 2-0 is worse than drawing 1-1, which is a little better than drawing 0-0, but it’s much better when we win 2-0. Here’s 5 things we learned, aside from Danny Welbeck is a massive traitorer: 1. Didn’t watch it as was cleaning up dogshit. 2. Which was actually preferable. 3. I did watch it but am envious of Benno. 4. I neither watched it or didn’t, but am envious of Tom feeling envious of...

m m (@Benglorious) With David Moyes finally proving his Premiership credentials yesterday, Mourinho and Wenger really have a lot to live up to today. I’m hoping for at least two plane banners locked in an aerial dogfight for at least 45 minutes or I want my money back for the Canadian stream I’m watching illegally. Prediction: Another debut goal for Rashford to cancel out another worldy from Henry. 0-0 United m m  (@tom_mcghee) What is...

Yung Rash = Paul Daniels. Pretty smalltime of Jose Mourinho to call us out on international TV for never actually managing to highlight 5 things we’ve learned imho. Here’s 5 things we learned, just for Jose: 1. Marcus Rashford is the future of everything (Orange lied to us). 2. Lovely touch having the A-Team playing at HT, legit highlight imho. 3. That trophy is so close I can almost taste it. 4. Scratch that –...

m m (@Benglorious) Celta Vigo are not a team United should be taking lightly this evening. After all, this IS the business end of the elite Europa competition-that-isn’t-for-the-best-clubs-in-Europe-but-still-gives-us-annoying-midweek-games-that-make-us-draw-all-our-important-matches-but-at least-if-we-do-win-the-whole-thing-it-does-mean-that-we’re-better-than-Liverpool League. Prediction: Another debut goal for Rashford and yet another hat-trick for Ronaldo as the Reds cruise to an easy victory. 0-0 United m m  (@tom_mcghee) There is simply no way Brett can speak Dutch. Celta Vigo were founded in 1989 after losing to the Ghostbusters...