Soton vs United
Tom (@Tom_McGhee): Having received a record number of complaints last week (Paul, Paul’s Dad) about how the previews have “lost their way”, this week will be a comprehensive analysis of both Southampton and United’s seasons so far. It won’t, obviously, but since only Paul (and Paul’s Dad) are still reading at this point, at least it looks like I tried. Anyway… Southampton away. Established as a club on the 21st November 1885 by Roger Moore...
United 2 – 1 Stoke
Two “goals” for United. Scored by “players”. One “assisted” by a “team-mate”. One the result of a “set-piece” or “set-play”. Disputable “scorer” of the other “goal”. Because hair. No the other “goal”. The other “goal”. Not that “goal”. Was “headed” into the net. Course it was “headed” into the net. Where else was a “goal” headed. I think. Summary: Vangle’s ‘philosophy’ of feeding the players pickled onion Monster Munch and a scotch egg minutes before...
United vs Stoke
Benno (@Benglorious): Feeling better about myself tonight after missing out on the weekend’s shenanigans in Manchester. This is purely down to Tom telling me “it was the worst weekend ever…. You’d have hated it… The football was rubbish… That Rantcast fella is a nasty piece of work”. Thanks, mate. Stoke are the visitors to Old Trafford tonight (note to self: find out how long games have been played at “night” and how they solve the...
United 3 – 0 Hull
Why are you even here? Didn’t you watch the game? Or at the very least the highlights? People.
United vs Hull
Benno (@Benglorious): They’re all there without me. All of them going to the game, to be followed by the biggest Twitter meet-up since the 1998 World Cup final. I bet there’s jokes and laughing. Everyone will be laughing and riding and cornholing except Benno. I didn’t want to go anyway. I love Christmas shopping far too much to waste my weekend drinking, laughing and watching footb*SOBS* Anyway, before I use the Google to find out if...
Arsenal 1 – 2 United
For the most accurate than irl review of this match read our preview: Arsenal vs United *Same joke as last week, but until you start reading them again, you only have yourselves to blame, mum and dad.
United 1 – 0 Crystal Palace
For the most accurate review of this game, read our preview: United vs Crystal Palace
Manchester 1 – 0 Manchester
We at Bifurcated have taken it upon ourselves to create a comprehensive video diary review of this historic Chris Smalling. Click below to view…
Arsenal vs United
Benno (@Benglorious): There’s something interesting to be said about international breaks. Not by me, though; I don’t get paid for that. We’ve just had a couple of weeks where England played somewhere between one and thirty games and probably won more than half of them. That’s the thing about statistics, any idiot with fingers can conjure something that seems to have relevance. That’s not to say that people without fingers can’t produce telling statistics...