Looks like none of us can do it. Promises to be the best one yet.    Today’s Match Pack: UNITED vs PALLIS 2mins: Dave’s kept us in it there. 4mins: Great tackle by Chris Smalling. 12 mins: Someone’s going to get on the end of one those Valencia crosses any year soon. 16 mins: Dave’s kept us in it there 21mins: Rooney’s controlled it for the first time since kick off. Unlucky there with that...

Benno (@Benglorious): The Crystal Palace was a cast-iron and plate-glass building originally erected in Hyde Park, London, England, to house the Great Exhibition of 1851.  More than 14,000 exhibitors from around the world gathered in the Palace’s 990,000 square feet of exhibition space to display examples of the latest technology developed in the Industrial Revolution.  Designed by Sir Joseph Paxton, the Great Exhibition building was 1,851 feet  long, with an interior height of 128 feet.  Because of the...

We’re playing City?  What’s all this business about Derby, then? Today’s Match Pack: Our Manchester vs Manchester Preview How do you do that thing where you makes the words bigger and differenter colours? And seriously, how good would it be if Optimus Prime was real? I’ve worked out how to do Italics. Click that button at the top to change the colour.  No, the other one.  To make it biggerer is a skill I haven’t learned...

Benno (@Benglorious): The Confederacy vs. The Union.  The Roundheads vs. The Cavaliers.  The Republicans vs. The Nationalists (That was in Spain according to Wikipedia).  Erm…. “Civil War” by Guns ‘n’ Roses.  These are all examples of wars between people living in the same place, or “Civil Wars”.  Now, I looked up “civil” in a wordbook, and it means “polite”.  I think you’ll both agree that there’s nothing civil about war.  I’m sure whichever historian came...

If you missed Tom and Benno’s MBMing then here’s a chance to undo what you didn’t donedo: Tomfurcated UniBen’s Minute-Bi-Minute Real-Time Matchday Adventure If any mainstream newspapers want to change their prescribed narrative and/or agenda to appeal to a niche* demographic of unpopular Twitter users – and if not, why not? – then I can offer you this headline at a knockdown price: ‘Treesy does it!!’** Yeah, I know it’s rubbish, but people in paper...

    I think you should add stuff at the top like this. Team news 26 October 2014:  Eleven United players against eleven Chelsea players most likely.   Today’s Match Pack: United vs Chelsea preview Key:  Benno is red because that’s the colour he bleeds when you cut him. Tom is black because it’s the lazy choice.  We can’t edit it at the same time. Probably best we take it in turns. Have just texted you...

  Benno (@Benglorious): I’ve actually been to Stamford Bridge a few times, and a couple of those were even to watch that football thing that so many people know and love.  I’ve seen Eric get booked for scoring an outrageous lob on Boxing Day and I’ve also seen Rooney miss a penalty in the League Cup, but that one was for Everton so nobody cares.  Now that I think about it, United have a 100%...