United fan, blogger, and friend of Bifurcated Craig English (@CraigEnglish92, Taught By Matt Busby) was settling down in front of the telly to watch the horse-racing. But just as he reached for the remote he noticed it was looking a little more train-shaped than normal, and not only that, it was about a hundred times bigger than it was yesterday. Odd, he thought. It was, of course, the Bifurcated Train! . The conductor chucked Craig...

United fan and blogger Journo Jess (@Journo_Jess, Journo Jess Blog) was just about to take a picture of Phil Jones down by the touchline, when she noticed his face beginning to stretch a little too much?! Although slightly unnerved she carried on, presuming, as we all would, that this was just normal. But as the shutter closed, a projectile shot from his cavernous mouth!! It was the Bifurcated Train! What?! That’s where we’ve been keeping it. The...

And without Danny. Arsenal should really consider themselves very very very very very very lucky. Phil ‘Jonesy’ Jones takes a lot of credit from this game, and rightly so – he was really strong, in both midfield and defence (I’m really luke-warming to the idea of him in midfield). Evans too. But also crucial, I think, was the performances of the sometime, somewhat maligned Michael Carrick, Tony and Patrice. All three were on it (whatever...

Fellaini did some okay stuff in this game, but it’s still not clear why he’s not playing the position he was bought to play in – the position he apparently wants to play and is his best position. The sending off was pre-arranged between the referee and the United coaching staff. United had to catch a flight back and didn’t want tree-chops taking the whole of Autumn to get back into the changing room. *Kags...

Narrative: Having witnessed Treebeard* triumphantly rescue Frodo* from those pesky Orcs* in the previous scene, it’s the natural course of things that the next act finds Treebeard* and his fellow Ents* taking down Saruman*. *For Treebeard read Fellaini. *For Frodo read Adnan. *For Orcs read Reichter and Kasami. *For Ents read  ‘Entertainers’*. *For Saruman read Wenger. *For ‘Entertainers’ read lol*. *For lol read lol AND lots of love.* Prediction: 3-1. Danny with his customary two....

Okay, no ‘Real Dad’ references this time. That doesn’t count. This is very, very, very serious… A bit of momentum is a wonderful thing, as we can testify being United fans and all. I’m fairly sure though that not even Moyes himself buys the party-line he’s been peddling, of us ‘being notorious slow starters, regardless of who’s in charge’ … but that’s not to give him credit for finally having found a footing; and in...

What a really good result for Moyes (and us) all round. This post is brought to you today, in association with the word ‘good’. – Good form: Rooney (*spit*) and RVP amongst the goals and hitting a bit of a patch – together and as seperate entities. – Good times: Adnan continuing his exponential growth. – Goodness sake: his man, coming to ‘the rescue’ of Adnan, and affording him a little bit of slack, perhaps....

For a minute back there, I thought we were going to be treated (for treated read: not at all treated) to front row seats as David Moyes’ private fantasy – of running a team with Rio and Vidic at the heart of the defence, no matter what – played out all over our goal difference for the remainder of the season. Not that I’m not going to miss Vidic desperately dispersing his (and his opponents)...