I could introduce this “book review” by recounting the heart-wrenching story behind how I came to own this book and then the equally heartbreaking turn of events that led me to getting round to actually reading it, but I don’t go in much for those type of reviews that are more about the reviewer than the review itself, and besides, that’s all the filling I think necessary to give this post a passable word count....

Adnan.

. Tom (@Tom_McGhee): I’m saying nothing…. . Brett: The joys of seeing a Di Canio-less Sunderland and the late-summer sun caressing the delicate contours of JOS’s unconventionally beautiful face, have been cruelly snatched away from me by the mild, mild mess our club finds itself in. The only thing we can do is cross our fingers and hope that somewhere along the line Moyes accidentally stumbles upon a team that functions relatively convincingly. Oh yeah,...

D-D-D-D-D-D-DANNY! (in the style of them off of Grease, or I s’pose in the style of the song off of Batman.) Fellaini is fast becoming a thing that I don’t like – an outlet for my frustrations, if you will. It’s not his fault, but that’s irrelevant. The way I see it: with the football at your feet, you either like it (and do nice passes and fancy footwork and that with it), or lump...

This will be the first game of the season I’ll be watching with Bifurcator David, he’s got a big angry head about United at the moment, so that should be fun. Having been away from football for a week, I’m right looking forward to this. Apparently Rooney’s the only one playing any good, which has got to be some kind of sick trick being played on us all. I’m gonna wait and see for myself....

I was still away in Madrid during this game, so again, am posting my post-match thoughts through the medium of the text conversations with Bifurcated David and Liverpool Rob… ME: *Hola mi chico! Do you mind awfully letting me know the scores of the main title protagonistas del dia. Gracias. Luego. Amor. bX* BD: *Surely will* BD: *0-0 HT. Apparently poor* LR: *Ur 2-1 down!* LR: *U remain losers. u abandoned them and they couldn’t...

I was away in Madrid during this game, so am posting my post-match thoughts through the medium of the text conversations with Bifurcated David and Liverpool Rob… ME: *If you wanna text me  scores while I’m away, that woud be nice bX* BD: *Okay, if you’re sure* LR: *I wouldn’t be so cruel* ME **silence** LR: *They’re starting the match with a algorithmic handicap taking into account current and past league position, combined squad numbers...

Presuming we’ve beaten Liverpool mid-week, ‘cus why wouldn’t we? Moyes needs a big win to follow that up, to convince fans he’s on some sort of track. (I’m on holiday at the moment (writing this on Tuesday), hence the poor effort. Business as unusual for the Champions League.) Prediction: 5 – 1. Danny with his customary two. Ashley Young hat-trick. Steve Clarke to admit, after the game, that he’s Nick Clegg’s brother.

I’d still like someone to tell me where Luis Suarez got that Andy McNab glove puppet? I’m not ready for football yet, and besides by the time the games kicks off I’ll be on holiday. I just hope Moyes gives the yoof a chance, though after Sunday, I can imagine he’ll find it hard to not go with a strong team (that’s funny, ‘cus I’m still crying, whilst gulping down Brasso). Prediction: 1 – 0. Danny...

ffs

Our internet friends are always welcome to share their ‘pre’ and ‘post match’ thoughts with us; if you want to share, get in touch! You can still enjoy our nonsensical, confusing, punctuation buffets, below their proper good ones…   Tom (@Tom_McGhee): 4-3. 6-1. Michael Owen. There is literally NOTHING good about Derby Day. A single game whose outcome will be appropriated by the fans and used as denouement to all football related arguments for the...