Sky Sports Punditry: Salt ‘n’ Pepper Nev Vs (Mixed) “Spice Boy” Jay

I was in bits at the opening sequence. I managed to just about hold it together for the rest. I fell in love with Eric more (even more)(I didn’t think it was possible, either). And much goosebumps ensued.

Do you like being wrong? I like being wrong. Do you like being wrong? I like being wrong. Love being wrong. Love it. Yeah. It’s great being wrong, isn’t it? Yeah …  I like being wrong. Really like being wrong. Really, love being wrong. Yeah. Yeah. Love IT! Yeah, really, REALLY love, love, LOVE being wrong. Yeah … you know the best thing about being wrong? The best thing about being wrong? Yeah, the BEST thing about being wrong? The best thing about being wrong is when your friends remind you, you were wrong. Yeah, LOVE being reminded when I was wrong. BEST THING! LOVE BEING WRONG!!

When I first heard this documentary film was being released, I was expecting a Christmas cash cow, and was happy to tell anyone within ear shot how it would inevitably take the form of a thrashed-out slash straight-to-video slash regurgitated montage off all those familiar clips; a pre-prescribed emotional mugging. It unequivocally is not that. The production spec is proper; this has been taken very seriously, by proper film-makers. But that’s not even the half of it.

As the six players eloquently talk us through their story (joyfully abetted by the two Erics: Harrison and Eric), we’re reminded, not only of how special their story is, but of just how integral to it their relationships with each other were and are. It’s no surprise then that the moments when the film really excels are when the players are gathered together over their tea. It’s they themselves who tell this story best and the creators of the documentary provide them with the perfectly understated platform to pitch it from here.

A couple of little things: I understand there’s a formula to documentary film-making and key to this is providing a social and political context for the main narrative, but (just throwing it out there) perhaps one or two of the external talking heads accepted the invitation primarily to indulge in some professional self-serving – I’m definitely looking at you Tony Blair (Boo!). For my personal taste, the film could have done without these asides – not you Mani, you’re alright – as the television and media footage that was interspersed throughout did the job more than adequately. I also thought we might find out what happened to a few of the other graduates. I’ll shut up.

Though it’s really hard for me to watch this film any way but subjectively, I think there is enough in the relationships of the players, and in this new take on their real-life fairytale, for fans of other clubs, and non-football fans to get behind. For United fans it’s a no-brainer – you have to see this film.

To coincide with the release of the new Class of ’92 documentary film (@classof92film, Class of ’92 DVD) we’re taking six familiar faces, with six all too familiar names to Canvey Island: Giggsy, Scholesy, Butty, Phily, Gary-y and Becky. What?!

For this special trip, our Canvey Island family will be sharing the song that defined 1992 for them.

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As they were boarding the train, the conductor stopped them for a second to ask “if we’ll get to find out what happened to the other 86?! Hey?! Hey?! Lads?!” (Hey! That’s my joke.) and then helped them aboard, in silence, ‘cept for a distant death knell.

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There was only one train waiting to depart, there was only one destination …

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Canvey Island!

They stepped off the train and were ushered, like the others before them, towards the car park where they found the car-boot sale and the stall run this time by someone who looked suspiciously like ex-Manchester United player Eric Cantona. He always rotas himself in for the good ones.

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Eric had a message for them: “Bonjour mes petits amis spéciaux préférés … Hey! Je me demandais si nous pourrions obtenir pour savoir ce qui s’est passé à l’autre 86? Non! Attendez une minute … qu’est ce que c’est cloche pour? Quoi qu’il en soit, s’il vous plaît jeter un oeil à ce que la famille Canvey a choisi pour vous…”

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…And this is what the Canvey Island family members picked as the song that defined their own 1992, and why (in their own words)…

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Estranged by Guns ‘n’ Roses

Picked by Paul Ansorge

Harvest Moon by Neil Young

Under The Bridge by Red Hot Chilli Peppers

Picked by Paul Gunning

“I was only eleven years old in 1992. So, my first year in high school, a year of first, awkward, taking-an-age-to-build-up-the-courage-to-slip-my-arm-round-a-girl’s-shoulders dates at cinemas, first kisses with tongues, terrible clothes and ‘curtains’ haircuts.

It’s fitting that this song should be a love letter to a city, as 1992 was also the year that I truly fell in love with Manchester and began to feel the first flutters of melancholy and aloneness within my soul, perfectly encapsulated in this heart-rending track.

It’s such a powerful, evocative song that brings back flooding memories of important loved ones in my life, and a time of awakening and possibility as I embarked on the first, faltering steps of my teenage years.”

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Would I Lie To You by Charles & Eddie

Picked by Tom Pattison

“In my ninth year on planet earth it was ALL about Charles & Eddie Would I Lie To You and it basically still is.”

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Brothers In Arms by Dire Straits

Picked by our very own David

“When I was 11? Probably Brothers in Arms by Dire Straits!”

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End of the Road by Boyz II Men

Picked by our very own Brett

“One of the best things about this song – and there are lots of best things about this song (apart from perhaps the second half of the talky part, that goes on a bit) – is that it can be sung in a key that means anyone can proper belt it out, irrespective of singing ability. It also lends itself really well to the fist-clenching-grabbing-of-that-lingering-hope-and-anguish-and-pulling-it-in-close-to-your-chest move.

My only experience of music before my early teens (I was 13 in 1992), was via the medium of Atlantic 252 and the telly (Top of the Pops and The Chart Show). Naturally I was into some pretty dark stuff: Michael Jackson. Take That. Simply Red. NKOTB NKOB. MC Hammer. Jimmy Nail. And Boyz II Men. Though I do think End of the Road is one of the best pop songs of the past twenty-five years, it’s not the song in and of itself that marks it out as defining my 1992. It’s the memory attached to it (yes, there is more)…

It was the ‘Christmas Variety Show 1992′ at our school. The Christmas Variety Show at our school was really just a vehicle for the posh and confident and “talented” and popular kids to show off, as teachers and parents fawned over them. Meanwhile, the rest of us were supposed to watch on, gratefully. Paradoxically, we despised them all, yet (for no good reason) longed to be one of them. This year the headline act was to be a duet performed by the two school ‘hunks’ (I forget their names) and it seemed everyone was restless with anticipation – everyone, but me.  As the familiar slow drum roll from the backing track tumbled in and hunk #2 sloped towards the front of the stage and began to speak in a low voice whilst hunk #1 caressed himself, it soon became apparent that this was very much not cool. I’m not sure if I’d ever experienced the frisson of cringing on someone else’s behalf before that moment; certainly not to that degree; nor for that long; nor that intensely. 

I might have been achingly shy and tragically unpopular and a bit rough (themes that have stuck), but at least I wasn’t that. And I didn’t stroke my groin in front of the whole school, with the minimum of self-awareness. I went home from the Christmas Variety Show 1992 feeling comfortable in my own skin – happy I wasn’t one of them. Happy to be me.”

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And then we dropped them off back home, but not before asking if we’d be finding out what happened to the other 86… 

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To get your hands on a copy of the DVD > Class of ’92 DVD

To keep up-to-date with all the news about the film > @classof92film

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Remember, to see the original musical picks from any of the lovable members of the Canvey Island family simply click on their names.

If you want to become a member of the Canvey Island Family, then please refer to the train timetable at selected stations, or easier still, drop us an email.

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Also available in the series (see below)…

TV is back!!!!!! Come on. He’s so back. He’s backer than a backy thing. I mean, what an explosive finish!!!!! … Okay, before the goal and even arguably during and immediately after the goal it was TV  V.2013 … BUT in the second half there were things like crosses – accurate ones too -, runs with ball – with the ball under something nearing control -, AND flicks … imagine that, or remember it if you watched it; same difference. Feast: on my punctuation (buffet) … there is plenty to go around! (The point is TV did something good – for a bit)

I actually enjoyed all of this game, even the bits when I wasn’t enjoying it. We felt like a team who could play football when we wanted. That’s a quality I’ve missed from a lot of our performances in the last couple of years (not the only thing, but definitely one), though that’s not to say it was all good.

Some of Rooney’s passing was outstanding and similarly stood out for the wrong reasons. We appear a bit confused – or rather Rooney wants to be all things, when we have more than enough qualities to fill the vacuum created by a Rooney-shaped hole that may or may not be appearing in a team near us soon. Pretty sure Fergie will find his mucking about with Andy Carroll a tad less amusing than he did, maybe just a smidge. The attitude of a player who no longer gives one?

Lovely goals from us: first after a lovely megs from RVP followed by a lovely dip of the shoulder from Shinji; the second: a lovely finish from RVP, after lovely Scholes-esque play from Shinji on the edge of the box. Lovely – it’s all lovely. OffsideWHAT!!

Not so lovely goals to concede: though that’s ‘cus I’m looking at them from the upside-downwards. Diame’s was without doubt lovely from a West Ham fan’s point of view. Vaz Te’s was equally as lovely, as it did exactly what West Ham say on the tin. BUT poor defending was also intrinsic in their realisation. What’s that there … Oh, you’re too slow.

MOTM: Gary Neville for looking like Berba.

As GNev said on Twitter “you just knew”.

There’s a dichotomy of sorts with regards to how United (especially this season) go about winning games. We would all love it if we could keep it tight at the back and dominate games in a technically and tactically preficient way, but don’t you just love the drama and excitement of not really knowing too? I do.

Smalling struggled a bit didn’t he – which was understandable. You could look at it positively, if you like, and say he also looked good in parts. The main problem was that the fans perhaps underestimated how good Benteke and Agbonlahor (and Weimann) actually are, so set their expectations levels a tad high. If only they’d read my pre-match thingy

Can not speak highly enough of Chicha right now – Thrilling! AND something about the performance of T-ClevZ, when he replaced Scholesy, got me purring.

Rooney had a mixed game, but – by his very high standards – so did ORVP. Not sure where Ashley Young goes from here, there’s a door I could point him towards if it helps. TV’s poor form continues: I foolishly presumed he didn’t ever play badly anymore. It won’t last.

I really do think we just grossly underestimated what Villa are capable of, the fans that is, not the team. Bannan is tidy player, the strikers are all Prem quality and they have some good footballers, including – through gritted teeth – Ireland.

Most disappoiting thing in this game, for me, was Scholesy’s performance. A reminder that his powers are finite. It happens to Giggsy too *double sad face*.

MOTM: Chicha – are you kidding me??!!!

“We are all things all at once”