Posted by Brett on November 14th, 2012. | Comments are
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United fan, and good friend of Bifurcated, Liz Worsley (@LizWorsley) was sketching out some drawings for her brilliant blog My Sports Toons, when she was disturbed by the sound of a flushing toilet?! It was only the Bifurcated Train Conductor using her bathroom – we promise we’ll have words (I hope he washed his hands).
The conductor handed Liz a £1 coin and gestured towards the direction of the platform in a nonchalant manner (He thinks he some kind of celeb after his role in these posts – if only he’d seen our stats … Sssshhhh!).
There, of course, was only one train waiting to depart, there was only one destination …
Liz stepped off the train and was ushered, like the others before her, towards the car park where she found the car-boot sale and the stall run this time by someone who looked suspiciously like ex-Manchester United and Al-Hilal player Andrei Kanchelskis.
As was now the accepted waffle, the character had a message: “Welcome to Canvey Island cds, tapes and vinyl. I’ve got to shift all these for a friend of a friend after a miscommunication over some cupcakes, bunting and blankets (?!), anyhow, won’t bore you with the detail, this kidnap scenario nonsense is confusing as it is … We have every single ever pressed or recorded in stock, and at 5 for £1, you can enjoy picking your 5 favourites of all time?!”
… and this is what Liz picked and why (in her own words) …
You can call me Al by Paul Simon
“My dad used to play this album to me in the car when I was young. It mostly stirs up memories of long journeys on a Friday night visiting my grandparents and staring out the window at the stars. But I also remember my mum telling me about the controversy surrounding it because Paul Simon went to South Africa to record it and collaborate with a group of Black artists in the mid-80’s when the country was still a white-run apartheid state. Although I was too young at the time to properly understand the trouble surrounding it, I still managed to get the impression that it was a very daring album and I remember how much that thrilled me. Every song is lyrically superb (just listen to ‘The Boy in the Bubble’!) and the whole album fills me with joy. I chose this one because it was the song I loved most when my dad first played it to me. By the way, my name’s Liz but you can call me Betty too.”
Strawberry Swing by Coldplay
“I think the reason I love this song is owed to the early influences of Graceland. It has a very African-sounding guitar feel to it and allegedly Chris Martin’s mum is from Zimbabwe so he spent a lot of time out there. Being a fan of doodling, I also love the stop-motion music video of Chris rolling around on the pavement alongside chalk drawings. The animations remind me of one of my favourite books, a fantasy story called Neverwhere (see below). A lot of people hate Coldplay but I love them and it was a very close tie between this and ‘Don’t Panic’.”
Love Lost by The Temper Trap
“OK, here’s the soppy part. As Eric Cantona once said, “Everything you love, you fear you will lose”. So true Eric, so true. I think many people tend to build up a wall to protect themselves after they lose something or someone because of the fear of getting hurt. This song really resonates with me because it’s about losing love and losing hope but then letting your defenses down, building trust and moving on. The video also reminds me of a time when I was training for the Manchester 10K along the lovely canals in Salford!”
No One Knows by Queens of the Stone Age
“I will never forget the night I went to see this band live at the Manchester Apollo. After the gig, my brother and I (along with a few other sad people) went to see if we could get a cheeky glimpse of them outside the venue where the roadies were loading up the lorry with amplifiers etc… And we couldn’t believe our luck when Josh Homme (the lead singer) came out in the rain to sign autographs, have his picture taken, and even invited us all for a drink at a nearby pub! This was the first song of theirs that I heard and I’ve since discovered that Josh is another ‘ginger genius’ – everyone seems to want to work with him including the Arctic Monkeys, the Strokes, Mark Lanegan, PJ Harvey, and Florence and the Machine… to name a few. The QOTSA frontman also reunited with his old buddy Dave Grohl (from The Foo Fighters) and the pair teamed up with Led Zepellin bassist John Paul Jones to form ‘Them Crooked Vultures‘. For me it was like fantasy football… but a rock version!!
I’d like to add that I owe my appreciation of this brilliant band to my youngest brother.”
Keys to the Kingdom by UNKLE
“If you’ve not got this album, you’ve probably heard at least one of the tracks on either: 1) an episode of ‘Top Gear’ 2) an advert or 3) a computer game (Assassin’s Creed or Grand Theft Auto IV). UNKLE are another talented outfit who have collaborated with Josh Homme, along with other artists such as Ian Brown, Richard Ashcroft and Thom Yorke. Every track on ‘War Stories‘ could easily make it onto a movie soundtrack, and this one is my favourite because I love the mixture of dance, guitar, piano and the lush vocals of Gavin Clark. Their other albums, Psyence Fiction and Never, Never Land, are also really worth checking out.”
Just before Liz headed back to the platform, the Kanchelskis “look-a-like” stallholder pointed her in the direction of the old abandoned book stall and asked her to pick out a book, for free, for the journey home.
… And Liz picked …
Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman
“I recently (grudgingly) moved down to London from the North-West to start a new job, a bit like the lead character in the story. It’s about a girl who needs rescuing and a guy who is thrown into a terrifying new world and has to help her to return to his universe.
Reading Neverwhere provided comforting escapism while I was adjusting to my new life and I was fascinated by the idea of another version of London existing below the one we know. I love the idea of secret passages within the Underground leading to a parallel universe and every time I’m on the tube, I try to look for old, disused tunnels that might lead somewhere. One day I hope someone like Edgar Wright or Guillermo Del Torro decide to make this into a film because the BBC made a terrible version of it years ago, only worth seeing for The Thick of It‘s Malcolm Tucker (Peter Capaldi) dressed as the Angel of Islington…”
… and then we dropped Liz back where she was – via the corner shop to replace any toilet roll used.