Canvey Island cds, tapes and vinyl: Chewie
United fan and friend of Bifurcated Chewie (@RoughEstateDate) was logging on to Twitter, when the screen on her phone started to spew out boiling hot cake-mix! Just as it was running down her hand, she woke up … *phew* it was all just a dream. She was about to log on to twitter to tell everyone about said dream, but her phone was now a baked cake with candles on and that. We have no idea where this is going – needless to say the Bifurcated Train had arrived!
The conductor wiped away the cake crumbs from the corner of his mouth and chucked Chewie two fifty-pence pieces – making sure to check they hadn’t got the Olympics events on the back that he hadn’t already collected – and then nodded in the direction of the platform.
There, of course, was only one train waiting to depart, there was only one destination …
Canvey Island!
Chewie stepped off the train and was ushered, like the others before her, towards the car park where she found the car-boot sale and the stall run this time by someone who looked suspiciously like ex-Manchester United player Eric Cantona.
The look-a-like character had a message: “Bienvenue à Canvey Island, cd cassettes et vinyles. Je dois passer tout cela pour un ami d’un ami d’un ami après une erreur de communication sur un shampoing, de toute façon, ne sera pas vous ennuyer avec les détails, il ne fait pas de sens de toute façon … Nous avons toutes les ait jamais été pressé ou enregistrées en stock, et à 5 pour 1 €, vous pouvez profiter de la cueillette de vos 5 favoris!”
… and these are the songs Chewie picked and why (in her own words. Warning: Contains a bit of cussin’) …
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Big Mouth Strikes Again by The Smiths
“I could easily have picked five Morrissey/ Smiths songs and been very happy with my selection. Because despite being only an average singer, Morrissey writes of misery and pathos that is strangely life-affirming and gives us all hope that we are not alone in our feelings of inadequacy and pain.
I’m not the first to have said that of Morrissey, nor will I be the last. But it’s as true now as it ever was, and I’d never write an all time list without him.
That being said, generally speaking black people make better music.
Black people have an aural history because much of their history has been documented by white people, or destroyed. This gives black people – particularly in the west – a superior aural tradition. They have used music to protest, document, and express – gospel, blues, eventually rock n roll. It all belongs to black people; they created it and – in my opinion – as authentic authors, they are the best.
I love the music of The Beatles, The Eagles, The Rolling Stones, The Stone Roses, Led Zep, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Bob Dylan etc but without black people? None of them. The Beatles didn’t create Rock n Roll, they merely presented it differently and experimented with it for white audiences. Like the 60’s Eminem – brilliant, but no Big Daddy Kane. I’m very glad they did, they were marvellous at it. But Chuck Berry, Little Richard… they aren’t. Not for me.
Anyway, as much as I love Dolly Parton, this is the only white act on my list for aforementioned reasons. I’m making a generalisation, because um, R. Kelly and The Lighthouse Family, but essentially I feel I’m right. The best music made by black people shits on (and usually predates) the best music made by white people. Which isn’t racism – as racism relies on ideological and historical context. It’s not even discrimination, because these are my choices and my opinions, no one benefits and I’m white.
I digress.
I am a fully paid-up member of The Moz Army and I picked this song, because… well, if my previous comments don’t afford you some clarity, I don’t know what will. I love having a big gob, but appreciate that it sometimes gets me in trouble. And this is a beautiful anthem for that.”
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Be My Baby by The Ronettes
“I’ve been using Twitter for two Christmases now, and both times I have done my Phil Spector advent where I count down to Christmas with tunes from his Christmas album. Famous for his ‘Wall of Sound’ in which he layered voices and instruments in production and influenced (before later producing Let it be) The Beatles and The Beach Boys (In fact, Be My Baby is reported to be Brian Wilson’s favourite all time song), Phil Spector has proven to be a hugely important part in the revolution of contemporary music. Despite the controversies surrounding his personal life, I love his music.
I’m not really a fan of love songs. I’m not a romantic person. Not conventionally romantic. I’m not proud of that fact, but I suppose I find romance in other things. I make an exception for this song. Which is – allegedly – the first record featuring the voice of Cher who sings backing vocals.
Some people may feel the song has been tainted by over-exposure, and it’s position on the Dirty Dancing Soundtrack and what-not. Whilst that can happen to some songs, I still love the richness and orchestral quality of the music and voices and I would be quite happy with island life if this was on shuffle.”
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Billie Jean by Michael Jackson
“Greatest pop star of all time, soundtrack to my youth, perfect production, best bass-line ever recorded.”
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Fight the Power by Public Enemy
“As far as I’m concerned the world is divided into two:
1. Those who have never been exposed to this song (due to age/ culture etc) and those who have and feel it is very important.
2. People who can go and fuck themselves.
I love Hip Hop music for all sorts of reasons, but I’m quite often asked how I can be a feminist and enjoy it when it uses language that can be degrading to women and has misogynist, materialist and violent themes that are politically regressive.
Make no mistake about it 99% of all music is politically regressive. When you hear women screech of wanting to hold on to a man, even though he did her wrong or some such shite, it carries with it the heavy burden of patriarchy.
Rap music isn’t pretending it isn’t regressive. It is overt. Some people who make rap music are absolute dickheads. The commercially successful rap musicians are usually the most regressive, and they primarily sell to white kids. Which I love, because Lord knows it outrages the Daily Mail.
But great rap music isn’t the stuff you hear on the radio. And the reasons for that are multiple, but a huge reason is because some music has the power to change people and change perceptions and provoke political activism. Rap is like real deal punk music, because it’s generally made by people who aren’t middle-class and showboating. You have to wonder why Punk isn’t scrutinised in the same way as Hip Hop, which has for decades been derided as the reason for society’s ills. Anyway, as I say, Rap has the power to change people and society in clear ways. Just look at what we all wear. And it’s not just the superficial shit like fashion, sport and – less superficially- language.
One day there will be a new important Hip Hop crew or artist. But the last important one – truly important one – was this one.
This is not my favourite song of theirs, actually. But it’s probably their most important. It came about initially as the main track on the soundtrack for Spike Lee’s, Do the Right Thing. Lee approached the band expressly for that purpose (rap influencing cinema there, too) and I don’t believe he was disappointed. They left an impressive musical legacy.
When the song was released, it was played loudly on the streets and outside the courthouse in Overton, Miami after police officer William Lozano was found guilty of murdering Clement Lloyd, a black motorcyclist, which triggered three days of rioting and two further deaths in Miami.
I like music to inspire and move me. I think it’s very difficult for musicians to properly handle politics. Public Enemy have to be considered the kings in this regard.”
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Blowin’ in the Wind by Stevie Wonder
“I’ve cheated here a bit. This isn’t my favourite Bob Dylan or Stevie Wonder song. But nonetheless I absolutely love it. Bob Dylan has a fucking awful, joyless voice. He makes great music, but that’s just a fact. Wonder, on the other hand, has a voice that permeates joy. In the same way that Prince is sex, Aretha is power and Dusty is Sultry – Stevie Wonder is just completely joyful. There aren’t enough superlatives when it comes to Stevie, but I love this cover version. I love it, because it’s inherently political and profoundly sad. But it is sung by the happiest voice in Christendom which makes for a sublime dichotomy.”
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Just before Chewie headed back to the platform, the Eric “look-a-like” stallholder pointed her in the direction of the old abandoned book stall and asked her to pick out a book, for free, for the journey home.
… And Chewie picked …
The Essential Spike Milligan by Spike Milligan (Foreword by Eddie Izzard)
“I’d hate to be anywhere for any significant period of time and not have a laugh. I’m attracted to other people who like a laugh, and I can forgive people who are a bit-of-a-dick if they are funny. I think sometimes people, particularly when reading what I write, think I am angry and aggressive, which couldn’t be further from the truth usually. I’m annoyingly optimistic and a morning singer, and very rarely unhappy for any great length of time. I don’t usually hold grudges either, I don’t have the temperament. I’m an in-the-moment shouter.
Anyway, I really love Spike Milligan. Opinions are mixed on him, but mine is that he was fucking magnificent. This book is an anthology of some of his best writing, including correspondence and sections of some of his books.
Spike was an environmental activist, and outspoken in his condemnation of domestic violence, dedicating one of his books to Refuge founder, Erin Pizzey. He also lived with the bipolar mental health condition, and had several breakdowns throughout his life, which did inform some of his work (ranging from children’s stories to war memoirs.)
He created The Goons, inspired Monty Python, and is what Izzard described as “The Godfather of Alternative Comedy.” I think he’s better than that, actually. I like lots of books, but I think I’d find this one the most reassuringly entertaining on an island.”
… and then we dropped Chewie back where she was and made her a brew to enjoy with her phone cake.
You can follow Chewie on Twitter here >> @RoughEstateMate
And you can also visit her site here >> ellezed.wordpress.com
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