The conductor tossed him a £1 coin and held out his hand to lead him in the direction of the platform. *BUZZ* Yep, same gag. It’s painful isn’t it?
There was only one train waiting to depart, there was only one destination…
At the other end he was lead towards the creepy car park and the now over familiar car-boot sale with the stall, run this time by someone who looked suspiciously like ex-Manchester United player John O’Shea!
As is the now the recognised format with this extremely quasi-shoddy post, the character has a message: “Welcome to Canvey Island cds, tapes and vinyl. I’ve got to shift all these for a friend of a friend after a miscommunication over some … erm … oh I forgot my lines, anyhow, won’t bore you with the detail, you’ve probably stopped listening to this surreal nonsensical rubbish already … We have every single ever pressed or recorded in stock, and at 5 for £1, you can enjoy picking your 5 favourites of all time?!”
“I love folk music. Old music, performed before it was referred to as folk music and sung by men in white Aran sweaters. Shirley Collins is incredible, this song is awesome.”
“My all-time favourite musician. I could have compiled a top 5 of just Dylan, so I chose a random song. It’s funny, and it rounds off perfectly my favourite Dylan album.”
“No version on YouTube, so here is actually my favourite song ever by anyone (and one of my favourite performances of it)”
“Had to put something more up beat in this list. This was the first song that came to mind. It is perfect.”
Just before David headed back to the platform the John O Shea “look-a-like” stallholder pointed her in the direction of the old abandoned book stall and asked him to pick out a book, for free, for the journey home.
“Unlike Brett I did read for the first half of my life, but unlike Brett I’ve pretty much stopped now. I’m having trouble finding the time and when I do I’m pretty picky about what I do read.
…and then we dropped David off at his studio, so he could get on with his actual job and stop messing about all the time.
To submit your own five favourite singles of all time and partake in our slightly amateurish kidnapping scenario email us at: