United fan, and good friend of Bifurcated, Birchy (@xbirchy) was busy mining for golden GIFs for the brilliant Beautifully Red, when his attention was grabbed by someting out the corner of his eye … it was only the Bifurcated Train Conductor cooking up his lunch in his kitchen – we’ve had words about his behaviour, it’s just all gone to his head (will be sure to bring him back down to Earth with Google Analytics at some point). (Frois Gras on a bed of champagne – if you’re interested).
There, of course, was only one train waiting to depart, there was only one destination …
Birchy stepped off the train and was ushered, like the others before him, towards the car park where he found the car-boot sale and the stall run this time by someone who looked suspiciously like ex-Manchester United player Eric Cantona. He’d insisted he be put on the rota, so he could thank Birchy for the 12 GIFs of Cantona!
As it was approaching Christmas, the only stock on the stall was Christmas songs. The character had a message: “Bienvenue à Canvey Island, cd cassettes et vinyles. Je dois passer tout cela pour un ami d’un ami après une erreur de communication avec des idioties que je ne peux pas être arsed vous parler, de toute façon, ne sera pas vous ennuyer avec ça. Nous avons toutes single de Noël jamais pressé ou enregistrés en stock, et à 5 pour 1 €, vous pouvez profiter de la cueillette de vos 5 favoris de tous les temps! ”
“I’ve thought long and hard about my 5 favourite Xmas songs and I think ive nailed it. I tried to make it a bit different to your normal 5 favourite songs, so I’ve visited the movies (which are a huge part of my Christmas festivities, loads of movies to watch every year!)…”
“5 seconds in and you already feel Chrismassy. John Williams at his very best.”
“Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas without some good old crooning.”
… and then we dropped Birchy back where he was – quickly doing the dishes, as an apology for the Conductor’s behaviour.
And you can visit his beautiful site here >> Beautifully Red
To submit your own five favourite singles of all time and partake in our slightly creepy kidnapping scenario email us at: