New things…

United 1 - 1 Wolves

United 1 – 1 Wolves

Proof if were needed that we are exactly the same as City. They drew 1-1 with Wolves. We drew 1-1 with Wolves. The same. Exactly the same. Same. The English Premier League Table needs to get it’s act together and sort it out. SAME. Here’s another 5 things we learned: 1. I very legit cannot […]

United vs. Wolves

United vs. Wolves

  (@Benglorious)  (@tom_mcghee) Can’t do words today pals please make up some. Although I don’t think Wolves should be allowed to be football unfair on both sides imho Be football? I’d’ve said ‘play football’ makes more sense that way imho you bald cunt Though kicking wolves around for 90 minutes would be unfair too Don’t […]

CL: Young Boys 0 - 3 United

CL: Young Boys 0 – 3 United

United’s Champions’ League campaign got off to a start as the first game was played of United’s Champions’ League campaign at the start of the Champions’ League campaign.   Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Plastic pitches get stitches 2. Heard the goals were good 3. Love that Shaman song 4. Love how that a […]

CL: Young Boys vs. Manchester United

CL: Young Boys vs. Manchester United

  (@Benglorious) Young girl, get out of my mind My love for you is way out of line Better run girl You’re much too young girl m Fuck. That ain’t right. m Prediction: United to get one over on Liverpool by having a player with no working eyes. His name is Jones. Phil Jones. 0-0 […]

EFL Cup Final: United 3 - 2 Southampton

EFL Cup Final: United 3 – 2 Southampton

AND NOW YOU’RE GONNA BELIEVE US! AND NOW YOU’RE GONNA BELIEVE US! AND NOW YOU’RE GONNA BELIEVE US! WE’RE GONNA WIN THE LEAGUE cup! Here’s 5 things we learned after our momentous day out at Wemberley: 1. Winning is good when you’re hungover. 2. It’s also good at other times. 3. Can’t decide if Lingard […]

250ney! Revroo!!

250ney! Revroo!!

  Wayne Mark Rooney. Captain. Leader. Legend. 250 goals scored in a United shirt to take the record out of Sir Bobby Charlton’s skeletal grasp. To put that in perspective: If he played for another 36 years he’d have 1000 goals. That would almost make me forget about the two transfer requests. Almost. The problem […]

Community Championship: Leicester 1 - 2 United

Community Championship: Leicester 1 – 2 United

Football is back here. Fasten your safety helmets, buckle on … Bifurcated is slipping up through the Germaine Grears and turboing the machs to full futuristicism. Peddles to the medals… It’s the one, two (though technically a number), three, four, five, siSIX words you’ve all been waiting all your “Boohoo it’s not like 2014, we’ve […]

Communitycharity Cupshield: Leiceister vs United

Communitycharity Cupshield: Leiceister vs United

*New season joke TBC* *I can’t speak for myself, but them other two haven’t done a preview innit*

Paul’s House Puppets: Roondog

Paul’s House Puppets: Roondog

Bifurcated’s Inside Scoopage

As promised, us the real heroes, have got the hot scoop (old newspaper term) on the most recent club leaks. Obviously as superfans we’ve long been privy to the club’s inner workings but think the time is right to tell you, the reader, what we’ve learnt. Learned? Learnt? (These are alternative forms of the past […]

Series review in reverse: 'In a Word'...

Series review in reverse: ‘In a Word’…

Welcome to ‘In a Word’… The one-word-based reverse review of the new football series, where we show William how much our Words-worth and with our word of mouth reputation you’ll be wordpressed to find a crossword to say about us…Word! Us’ve invited some Twerples to give us some one word questions about the forthcoming season […]

Bi-Mark: Footballiversity

Bi-Benno: Where Are They Right Now..?

Bi-Konny: Michael Owen Reads Mean Tweets...

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