New things…

FAC Final: United 0 - 1 Chelsea

FAC Final: United 0 – 1 Chelsea

Can’t wait to watch Liverpool collect the Champions League title, to cap another wonderful week in the club’s recent history. Here’s 5 things we learned, apart from that Phil Jones is a legend: 1. I think I preferred it when ferguson was in charge. 2. I actually enjoyed the Royal Wedding more and I didn’t […]

FAC Final: United vs. Chelski (BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA GEDDIT?!)

FAC Final: United vs. Chelski (BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA GEDDIT?!)

     (@Benglorious) The FA Cup final. Today is when we finally see the results of our 38 training matches this season culminate in a tactical masterclass, leading to United winning the most important, if not the only, trophy in European club football. Winning the FA Cup for the second time in his career will […]

United 1 - 0 Watford

United 1 – 0 Watford

Goodbye Michael Carrick, you were a wonderful … I’m gonna say … midfielder man?!   WOOOOHHHHOOOOOOOO!! NO MORE RUDDY GAMwhat? FA Cup what? FFS.   Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Didn’t watch it on a stream or even the highlights that’s how little I care now. 2. Agents of SHIELD was lovely, Fitz & […]

United vs. Watford

United vs. Watford

  (@Benglorious) Football’s out for summer Football’s out for ever That last one’s probably not 100% accurate but you have to hand some artistic licence to Mr Cooper, whether you’re hanging with him or not. You also have to give the man some serious credit: he literally has a song for every occasion – when […]

West Ham 0 - 0 United

West Ham 0 – 0 United

JFC, STILL ONE MORE GAME TO GO! KILL ME! NOW! PLEASE! Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Football is a great game. I love it so much. 2. It is the greatest game and I love it. 3. More like Mark IG-Noble !! 4. More like IDGI-Noble !! 5. I love football more than all […]

West Hammers vs. United

West Hammers vs. United

    (@Benglorious) It’s always great playing West Ham, especially fifteen times in three weeks. Sometimes we even beat them. Except when Blackburn won the league that one time. Ask your dad. Or Paul. Whichever one actually remembers. Paul. Prediction: Rooney to score from anywhere up to 70 yards away but only if he plays. […]

EFL Cup Final: United 3 - 2 Southampton

EFL Cup Final: United 3 – 2 Southampton

AND NOW YOU’RE GONNA BELIEVE US! AND NOW YOU’RE GONNA BELIEVE US! AND NOW YOU’RE GONNA BELIEVE US! WE’RE GONNA WIN THE LEAGUE cup! Here’s 5 things we learned after our momentous day out at Wemberley: 1. Winning is good when you’re hungover. 2. It’s also good at other times. 3. Can’t decide if Lingard […]

250ney! Revroo!!

250ney! Revroo!!

  Wayne Mark Rooney. Captain. Leader. Legend. 250 goals scored in a United shirt to take the record out of Sir Bobby Charlton’s skeletal grasp. To put that in perspective: If he played for another 36 years he’d have 1000 goals. That would almost make me forget about the two transfer requests. Almost. The problem […]

Community Championship: Leicester 1 - 2 United

Community Championship: Leicester 1 – 2 United

Football is back here. Fasten your safety helmets, buckle on … Bifurcated is slipping up through the Germaine Grears and turboing the machs to full futuristicism. Peddles to the medals… It’s the one, two (though technically a number), three, four, five, siSIX words you’ve all been waiting all your “Boohoo it’s not like 2014, we’ve […]

Communitycharity Cupshield: Leiceister vs United

Communitycharity Cupshield: Leiceister vs United

*New season joke TBC* *I can’t speak for myself, but them other two haven’t done a preview innit*

Paul’s House Puppets: Roondog

Paul’s House Puppets: Roondog

Bifurcated’s Inside Scoopage

As promised, us the real heroes, have got the hot scoop (old newspaper term) on the most recent club leaks. Obviously as superfans we’ve long been privy to the club’s inner workings but think the time is right to tell you, the reader, what we’ve learnt. Learned? Learnt? (These are alternative forms of the past […]

Bi-Mark: Footballiversity

Bi-Benno: Where Are They Right Now..?

Bi-Konny: Michael Owen Reads Mean Tweets...

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