March 2016

Leicester 1 – 1 United

Another game, another point proven, made, gotten and proven. Did we say proven? We’ve forgotten the point. In this game, again, The Universe provided us with irrefutable evidence that the baddies always win, so ultimately what’s the point in remembering points anyway, if you get our point… Just realised Schneiderlin reminds me of an old […]

United vs Leicester

United vs Leicester

 Benno (@Benglorious) I haven’t been these excited to read the next installment of something since Andy McNab mentioned Charlie Three-One down, which incidentally is going to be United at halftime. Lol, as if we can score one goal. Anyway, I’ve remembered my point this time: Installments (I figured it out by reading over the stuff that […]

United 0 – 0 PSV

No goals all means we’re one step closer to the promised land. Can’t wait to get there. Don’t get us wrong, we’re really enjoying the journey and all. Lots. Really. Really, really enjoying it. To the max. And back. Lots. Yep. Here’s 5 things we’ve learned this week: 1ne) Learning is as learning does. 2wo) Life […]

United vs PSV

United vs PSV

 Benno (@Benglorious) Refusing to do a preview after Tom smashed it last game. Let’s see him do it again. m Opposition summary: PSV do football. Prediction:  I don’t have a point to forget. 0-0 United.    Tom (@tom_mcghee) Chapter 2 McGhee opened his eyes cautiously; despite being the sole passenger on Air Force One, a lifetime at […]

Watford 1 – 2 United

Drums please … Woooh! What a wicky-wah-wicky-wah-wicky-wah-wicky-wild result! Just slide with me, just slide with me, just slide with me, c’mon and take a walk with me … scoring dramatic late goals to win games like it’s 2000. Excuse me … Willenium. Herrera celebrated like it was 1999. Hold up it is. Memphis got jiggy with […]

Watford vs United

Watford vs United

     Benno (@Benglorious) The season starts with a humdinger of a curtain-raiser as the mighty Watford entertain United at Vicarage Road. Luckily for us, Wayne Rooney CAPTAIN LEADER LEGEND is still England’s leading goalscorer. Even more luckily for us, Wayne Rooney CAPTAIN LEADER LEGEND is poorly so he won’t be playing. Slightly less luckily […]

Manchester United lovable XI

Manchester United lovable XI

You may have noticed, but the Manchester United team isn’t too fun at the moment. But, above everything else – the money and the rivalry and the health benefits – football is supposed to be fun and likable. So here is my current Manchester United likable- nay, lovable XI. (PS: There is also a treat […]

United 2 – 0 WBA

It was literally, metaphorically, and literally raining Premier League goals at Ol’ T at the weekend, as not one but two drops condensed from the dark clouds of the previous baron years. Even more exciting was the sight of Captain Evaporation being subbed off; 3 years after old father time had held up the metaphorical, […]

United vs WBA

United vs WBA

   Benno (@Benglorious) In a classic case of life imitating darts, Brett hasn’t written his thing yet so I can’t steal any of his stuff. To make matters even more like that thing I said in the first sentence, Tom hasn’t written anything since the incident so there’s no chance of me even poncing one […]

CL: United 1 - 0 CSKA Moscow

CL: United 1 – 0 CSKA Moscow

Yadda blah etc…   Here’s 5 things we learned: d) Even if you hate something with an unbridled passion, it will sometimes score an unmarked header from 5 yards out.  

CL: United vs CSKA Moscow

CL: United vs CSKA Moscow

 Benno (@Benglorious) Rather cleverly, Brett has put a video in his bit that won’t play on my computer so I can’t ruin/steal his joke. This makes me think he’s got an adult to help him which is clearly against the rules that I just thought of. I also can’t ruin/steal Tom’s jokes because I have […]

Crystal Palace 0 – 0 United

Crystal Palace matched us at what we do best … which is testament to Vangle’s genius. If we can get every team to match us, and end every game nil all, until the end of the season, we’ll have at least enough points to start a point business. As the point business expands over the […]

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