EL Final: Ajax vs. United
@Benglorious) *waits to see what tone the other two are going for with their previews* *wanks whilst waiting* Prediction: United to throw the kitchen sink at Ajax, who send it back glistening because detergent lol. Debut goals for both Marcus and Rashford. 0-0 United. m (@tom_mcghee) I’ve got nothing. I lack the […]
United vs. Palace
m (@Benglorious) Finally we have come to the final game of the season. No more football after this final game for a whole four years. Or two if you count the Euros. I don’t know about you, but I’m actually looking forward to extra helpings of politics once the football is done. Long live the Queen. […]
Southampton 0 – 0 United
We asked Jose Mourinho to comment on the last 6 years of Bifurcated, and he had this to say: The intensity is there. Which is just what I ask for. I could not ask for more. Here’s 5 things we learned when the football interrupted our 90 minutes of doing other things to ease the […]
Southampton vs United
(@Benglorious) Southampton are yet another of those teams that played Sunderland one day and stole their kits. Seriously: why do so many teams have the same kits? I may be colour-blind, but even I know there’s enough colours in a set of Crayolas for every team to have a different colour shirt. Southampton could easily […]
Totspurs 2 – 1 United
Did you ever hear the best-selling, blockbuster movie story about the basket of all the disappointment that we sucked on after Wednesday 24th May 2017? No. Well, we’ve copyrighted it. And our lawyers are completing their online lawyer course. So, bite our bangers. Here’s 5 things we learndured: 1. Rooney still has a lot to […]
Tottenham Hotspur vs. United
(@Benglorious) Is the season over yet? Is the season over yet? Is the season over yet? Is the season over yet? Is the season over yet? Is the season over yet? Is the season over yet? Is the season over yet? Is the season over yet? Is the season over yet? Is the season over yet? Is the season over […]
EL Semi Final: United (2) 1 – 1 (1) Celta Vigo
Despite our best efforts over the previous 75 games, we have finally (finally is another word for Fellaini) made it to the final (final is another word for Fellaini) of the Europa League. United’s Europa League campaign = Derren Brown’s infamous Russian Roulette trick. But with us preferring the chamber was full of live rounds. […]
EL Semi Final: United (1) vs. Celta Vigo (0)
(@Benglorious) Tonight is make or break, do or die, dog eat dog, boy meets world, girl on girl, north by northwest for United. The Europa League is our last shot at being big time Charlies this season, but there’s always the chance we will massively balls it up. Well, not even massively knowing […]
Arsenal 2 – 0 United
Losing 2-0 is worse than drawing 1-1, which is a little better than drawing 0-0, but it’s much better when we win 2-0. Here’s 5 things we learned, aside from Danny Welbeck is a massive traitorer: 1. Didn’t watch it as was cleaning up dogshit. 2. Which was actually preferable. 3. I did watch it […]
Arsenal vs. United
m m (@Benglorious) With David Moyes finally proving his Premiership credentials yesterday, Mourinho and Wenger really have a lot to live up to today. I’m hoping for at least two plane banners locked in an aerial dogfight for at least 45 minutes or I want my money back for the Canadian stream I’m watching illegally. […]