March 2016

City 0 - 1 United

City 0 – 1 United

The game that at various points of the season wasn’t sure whether it was going to be the title decider or not, has ended up being just that and then some, almost. This effed up season has been so inappropriately and unabashedly wonderful at points, that soon the universe will run out of superlatives and […]

Case File #6: Caps Lock Caveman

Case File #6: Caps Lock Caveman

He may no longer play for United, but we have managed to get our grubby little hands on  the archived, top-secret,  investigations he undertook while he was still under our employment… Micky’s crime fighting has taken him from the desolation on the streets of Liverpool, to the destitution on the streets of Newcastle, via the underworld of […]

Canvey Island cds, tapes and vinyl: En Lim

Canvey Island cds, tapes and vinyl: En Lim

United fan and friend of Bifurcated En Lim (@limenen) was just getting ready for work when there was a gentle tap at the door. It wasn’t the postman, no, it was the conductor from the Bifurcated Train!   He tossed her a  £1 coin and held out his hand  to lead her in the direction […]

Not A Rant: A Commentator Prefacing A Statement With “Should Have”...

Not A Rant: A Commentator Prefacing A Statement With “Should Have”…

  Should have scored from there” / “should have got a hand to that” / “should have looked up” / “should have made that substitution earlier” / “should have won that game”. You get the gist.  What I find myself infuriated by is the implication that someone, somewhere, ‘should have’ done better. To most, I’m sure […]

Would you have Tevez back?

Would you have Tevez back?

I would! *ducks behind desk*    Feel free to projectile spew your vitriol in my direction below… (And I will happily defend why *I would* in reply to any comments)

United 4 - 4 Everton

United 4 – 4 Everton

If only we’d read my pre-match prediction. I mean it’s usually on SAF’s to do list to go through all my posts weekly … Ah well, must have had his mind on other things. I experienced this game vicariously through text messages from two United fans and a Liverpool fan and then through newspaper reports […]

Limited Edition Ashley Young Swiss Army Knife

Limited Edition Ashley Young Swiss Army Knife

United 2 – 1 Everton

Not predicting with any confidence at the moment, but there’s no point repeating the reasons over and over and over and over and over and over… (repeat to fade) (Besides, I’m away in France and football doesn’t exist when I’m not around to witness it, not as if that’s in any way relevant to the […]

United 4 - 0 Aston Villa

United 4 – 0 Aston Villa

Well the cliches for our games are writing themselves, so I don’t have to. Here’s a few things anyway, that I’ve said lots of times before. Not cliches as such, just repeats. Does that mean they’re cliches? No, I don’t think so. It’s quite obvious what I think of Ashley Young. Get rid. Rooney needs some better players […]

Sssshhhhh ... It's a conspiracy!

Sssshhhhh … It’s a conspiracy!

     

Too Much, Too Young

Too Much, Too Young

I can’t speak for you … well, unless you’d like me too? I mean, this would be a lot easier if we could all just agree, right? No? You’re sure? Okay. Thought not. Good. Great. So, we can all agree to disagree on some things. Great. I mean, it’s not like you have to attend every argument you’re invited to is […]

The Spirit of the Game

The Spirit of the Game

  A few years back I watched a cup match between Bristol City and Sheffield Wednesday and came to the conclusion that I could kick the ball up in the air and misplace passes and could run like Forest Gump, so why the flip wasn’t I playing out there? Obviously the scouting system in this […]

Bi-Mark: Footballiversity

Bi-Benno: Where Are They Right Now..?

Bi-Konny: Michael Owen Reads Mean Tweets...

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