Canvey Island cds, tapes and vinyl: Craig English

United fan, blogger, and friend of Bifurcated Craig English (@CraigEnglish92, Taught By Matt Busby) was settling down in front of the telly to watch the horse-racing. But just as he reached for the remote he noticed it was looking a little more train-shaped than normal, and not only that, it was about a hundred times bigger than it was yesterday. Odd, he thought. It was, of course, the Bifurcated Train!

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The conductor chucked Craig a quid coin and pointed in the direction of the platform. There was only one train waiting to depart, there was only one destination …

Canvey Island!

 

Craig got off the train and was ushered, like the others before him, towards the car park where he found the car-boot sale and the stall run this time by someone who looked suspiciously like ex-Manchester United and Al-Hilal player Andrei Kanchelskis.*Bless you*

 

 

 

As was the “norm” now with this post, the character had a message: “Welcome to Canvey Island cds, tapes and vinyl. I’ve got to shift all these for a friend of a friend after a miscommunication over my wage demands and my insistence on holding my cuffs within my clenched fist. Anyhow, won’t bore you with the detail, this kidnap scenario nonsense is confusing as it is … We have every single ever pressed or recorded in stock, and at 5 for £1, you can enjoy picking your 5 favourites of all time?!”

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… and here’s what Craig picked, and why (in his own words); in a 5,4,3,2,1 formation  …

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5) The Masterplan by Oasis

“I hate to start on a negative but I have to, at the very least, start with a regret. I have to apologise to The Beach Boys as I just couldn’t find room for Kokomo, one of my favourite song of all time. Well, my sixth favourite song evidently. Okay bad start, time to refocus. First song up, a song that at 18 years old, is the youngest song in my top five. Wasted, because of the songwriter’s arrogance, as just a b-side. But thankfully, b-side or not, it was produced to perfection. A backwards guitar solo and the inclusion of strings gives it the capacity to raise the hairs on the back of your neck when sat in the middle of a field with 90,000 other people. Especially when played immediately after a song like Cigarettes & Alcohol.”

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4) O Fortuna by Carl Orff (Andre Rieu)

“This song harks back to my childhood. Saturday mornings were the days myself and my brothers got a lie in. School during the week and football on Sundays. But this meant my dad was left to his own devices in the kitchen with our tape player. Credit to him he changed the album most weeks, from Bowie to The Kinks and Don Baker to some classical albums. At the time most of the classical stuff was just noise to my eight year old ears. But I always enjoyed it when O Fortuna came on and today I’ve become quite obsessed with it. The lyrics, translated, are somewhat harrowing but they do create some of the most beautiful images despite the hardship that they depict. But without even learning, the sound in which this song is presented is powerful enough to conjure up the images that the lyrics intend to create.”

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3) Victoria by The Kinks

“The Kinks just have to be in your top 5, it should be law. If it isn’t one already. I chose Victoria for the sound, a sound that is trademark Ray Davies, rather than the lyrics. Although I do appreciate the work put in to place all the place names into the right place. So Victoria is placed in the middle here.”

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2) Folsom Prison Blues by Johnny Cash

“This is Cash at his ultimate brilliance. A song about a prisoner that is written in such a beautiful way that the listener is in total sympathy of this murderer (the character, not Cash). The man has a grip with a nearby train station as it gives him false hope of escape. The guitar rhythm throughout is a train in itself. Within the rhythm you can visualise the “rich folk eating from their fancy diner carts”, and more importantly you can feel the envy in which Cash portrays it in.”

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1) Norwegian Wood by The Beatles

“Is it too clichéd to put a Beatles at number one? Well I’ll forgive myself, as at least it isn’t Yesterday, Let It Be or Come Together. A song about a girl who is a little bit eccentric and a guy who is a little bit taken aback by her eccentric ways. It also draws imagery of a log cabin with a wonderful rug and a roaring fire. On first listen it sounds simple, just a simple Beatles song akin to Blackbird but it is anything but. Also, it’s a song with lovely depth so it is very hard to become tired of it. With each listen you hear something new that adds value to the song.”

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Just before Craig headed back to the platform the Andrei “look-a-like” stallholder pointed him in the direction of the old abandoned book stall and asked him to pick out a book, for free, for the journey home.

 

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… And Craig picked …

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Aristotle’s Desire to Understand by Jonathon Lear

“If I was only to have one book for the rest of life to read I’d definitely choose this. The language is tricky, but Lear guides you through with clever suggestions. Of all the great thinkers that have transferred their thoughts to page Aristotle’s, in my opinion, are put down in the most beautiful way. I’ve a love for the stars and all things astronomy and Aristotle is an astronomer who hails from the land that first looked up to the moon and stars with amazing wonderment. This reflection to the sky is why for me a book explaining Aristotle is the most important book in my library.”

 

And then we dropped Craig off back at his place, but not before whispering in his ear, the secret to winning at the gambling.
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Remember, you can follow Craig on Twitter here > @CraigEnglish92
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Or visit his blog here > Taught By Matt Busby

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To submit your own five favourite singles of all time and find yourself wishing you hadn’t bothered signing up, email us at:

hello[@]bifurcated.co.uk

 

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Also available in the series, see below…

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