United fan and friend of Bifurcated Lucy (@lkarko) was waiting for a taxi to take her into town. She heard the pip of the horn, but when she got outside it wasn’t the taxi waiting, no, it was the Bifurcated Train!

The conductor tossed her a £1 coin and held out his hand to lead her in the direction of the platform. There was only one train waiting to depart, there was only one destination …

Canvey Island!

(We refuse to enter into anymore discussion about the lack of train station in Canvey Island, apart from technically that then, when we just did.)

As Lucy got off the train at the other end she was shoved towards the car park and the now familiar car-boot sale with the stall, run this time by someone who looked suspiciously like ex-Manchester United and St. Patrick’s Athletic player Paul McGrath!

As is the format with this twisted post, the character has a message: “Welcome to Canvey Island cds, tapes and vinyl. I’ve got to shift all these for a friend of a friend after a miscommunication over some flooring, anyhow, won’t bore you with the detail, this surreal crap puts people off as it is … We have every single ever pressed or recorded in stock, and at 5 for £1, you can enjoy picking your 5 favourites of all time?!”

… and this is what Lucy picked and why (in her own words) …

Old Man by Neil Young

“From all the Neil Young songs it has to be this one. I love the man’s voice.”

Faster by Manic Street Preachers

“The Holy Bible is possibly (in my opinion) one of the greatest albums ever… And this is probably one of my favourites of the Manic’s …”

Pretty Apollo by Cyne

“I love good rap/hip hop and this is good…”

I love my whiskey by Big Bill Broonzy

“Well, because I do and so does Bill.”

Rudi can’t fail by The Clash

“Hard to pick out of this and ‘I fought the law’ … but this edges it, just.”

Just before Lucy headed back to the platform Paul McGrath “look-a-like” stallholder pointed her in the direction of the old abandoned book stall and asked her to pick out a book, for free, for the journey home.

… And Lucy picked …

The Stranger by Albert Camus

“Hard to choose a book, but will pick ‘The Stranger’ by Camus, simply because it was the first book I read properly when growing up, short but brilliant.”