Posted by Brett on May 11th, 2012. | Comments are
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United fan and friend of Bifurcated Steph Doehler (@stephdoehler) was stepping out to explore her new surroundings after moving home. As she turned the corner to head around the block, you’ll never guess what happened? Yes, you’ve guessed it … There waitin for her, was the Bifurcated Train!
The conductor tossed her a £1 coin and held out his hand to lead her in the direction of the platform. There was only one train waiting to depart, there was only one destination…
(We refuse to enter into correspondence (not as if anyone’s asking) as to why the destination is Canvey Island, just accept it)
As Steph was ushered off the train at the other end she was nudged towards the creepy car park and the now over familiar car-boot sale with the stall, run this time by someone who looked suspiciously like ex-Manchester United and Cobh Rambler’s player Roy Keane!
As is the now the recognised format with this slightly shoddy post, the character has a message: “Welcome to Canvey Island cds, tapes and vinyl. I’ve got to shift all these for a friend of a friend after a miscommunication over some burrowing worms(?!), anyhow, won’t bore you with the detail, you’ve probably stopped listening to this surreal nonsensical rubbish already … We have every single ever pressed or recorded in stock, and at 5 for £1, you can enjoy picking your 5 favourites of all time?!”
… And this is what Steph picked and why (in her own words) …
November Rain by Guns N’ Roses
“If you ever asked me for my favourite song ever I think nine times out of ten I’d probably say this and yet if it comes on on my iPod I’ll often skip it. Everything about November Rain: the lyrics, Slash’s solos, the video, the piano at the start, the build up to the end, is just perfect. For me, the full nine odd minutes is an absolute work of art. Yet I still rarely listen to it. Sounds crazy but for me I just could never let is become an overkill. There’s so many songs I’ve loved in the past that I ended up getting sick of because I heard them so often, I would never want that to happen with this song. A listen once a month is just enough to keep it at the top of my list. Everything about it is just genius.”
Long Day by Matchbox 20
“I started listening to MB20 when I was in sixth form, so around 2005ish. My friend introduced me to them. I listened to a few tracks and thought they were pretty good. And then he made me listen to Long Day. I loved it from the second Rob Thomas’ voice kicked off the song. For some time they were my favourite band but seeing as they’re released nothing in quite some time they have fallen down the pecking order a little. But nevertheless a quality song by a brilliant band.”
Welcome to the Black Parade by My Chemical Romance
“I was never massively family with MCR before The Black Parade album. I’d heard a few bits and pieces on Kerrang but wouldn’t have called myself a fan. Then I saw the video for WTTBP and was in awe. Gerard Way was such a bizarre looking guy but it worked so well in the band. I bought the single when it went to number one (incidentally the last single I actually bought as a CD) and playing it on loop, which I’m sure annoyed my housemates at the time. Then I got the album, which tells a fantastic but morbid story throughout. There’s a few brilliant songs on the album, namely Famous Last Words, but this one will always remain in my top 5 songs ever.”
Mr. Brightside by The Killers
A bit of an obvious choice I think for someone who likes the same genre of music as me. I first heard it in my first year of Uni and there’s so many memories it holds for me because it became a massive “uni” song the whole time I was there. Then I got to see The Killers live at V Festival in 2009 and the place erupted when they played this song. A proper feel good song for me.
Californication by Red Hot Chili Peppers
I’ve gone with this for my final choice, but actually I wrote out an entire blurb for Masterplan by Oasis first! My first four were really easy decisions but fifth place could have been anything from about ten songs. I looked through my iTunes for when I came across this song I decided to go with it. The song is brilliant, but not just that, Californication is my favourite ever music video. If you’ve not seen it you have to check it out on YouTube. Funnily enough I don’t really like the band that much these days and I thought their latest album was a real let down but the older stuff is pure quality and this is the best song by them in my opinion.
Just before Steph headed back to the platform the Roy Keane “look-a-like” stallholder pointed her in the direction of the old abandoned book stall, as he is now contractually obliged to do, and asked her to pick out a book, for free, for the journey home.
… And Steph picked …
“Any book by either Michael Connelly or David Baldacci normally gets me through a boring train journey, as I love crime thrillers. But at the moment I’m on the third Hunger Games book. The first was absolutely amazing, so I’ll go with that as my pick…”
…and then we dropped Steph off at her new local corner shop, so she could have a good old chinwag with her new neighbours.