United fan and friend of Bifurcated Adam Pinfold (@adampinfold) was off out to band practice, but as he left the house he was confronted by a train station that had appeared at the entrance to his block of flats! (I think we can guess what’s coming by now)

The conductor handed Adam a £1 coin and wagged his finger in the direction of the platform. There, of course, was only one train waiting to depart, there was only one destination …

Canvey Island!

(Yes we know there’s no Canvey Island train station. Get over it!)

Adam got off the train and was ushered, like the others before him, towards the car park where he found the car-boot sale and the stall run this time by someone who looked suspiciously like ex-Manchester United and Al-Hilal player Andrei Kanchelskis.

As was the norm now the character had a message: “Welcome to Canvey Island cds, tapes and vinyl. I’ve got to shift all these for a friend of a friend after a miscommunication over some plants(?), anyhow, won’t bore you with the detail, this kidnap scenario nonsense is confusing as it is … We have every single ever pressed or recorded in stock, and at 5 for £1, you can enjoy picking your 5 favourites of all time?!”

… and this is what Adam picked and why (in his own words) …

Labour Of Love by Hue and Cry

“Always liked this song when I first heard it being performed on Going Live in the late 1980s. Could never remember the band name though and it took me many years to actually find out what it was called (before the days of Shazam and the internet) due to me thinking the chorus was: “Gonna whip drop my baby!” (actual lyrics: “Gonna withdraw my labour…”) A good song to have an angst driven sing along to, when you’re remembering certain ex-girlfriends… “I don’t need your pseudo satisfaction baby!””

We Float by PJ Harvey

“A good friend of mine once made me a mix tape with a tear jerking soundscape on it called VLetrmx by Autechre, and said that he wanted to be played at his funeral. He wasn’t actually dying and is still here now (I’m glad to say!) but it occurred to me that I should pick such a track for whenever I have to leave this planet, and PJ Harvey’s piano led opus totally fits my bill. A slow melancholic start that builds up to a beautiful bright burning sunset.”

When Your Mind’s Made Up by Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova

“Another slow burner, I first heard this song when I watched the modern musical/film called Once. It’s about a folk singing busker who meets a flower selling young Czech girl and they both go on to make beautiful music together (no pun intended). They perform this song in a recording studio to the amazement of the sound engineer/producer who realises he’s got a hit on his hands – very inspiring for musicians young and old!”

So Derobe by Joy Orbison

“One of those tracks that I would call a modern classic. I had downloaded this a few months earlier for a DJ mix I was making, but it went on to become part of the canon of tracks that bring back fond memories of the Southport Weekender Festival at Minehead last year. We went to see Joy play on the Saturday but unfortunately his set time had been changed to the Friday without our knowing, so had to make up for it by playing this track about ten times on our iPod dock in the chalet instead. This song reminds me of new beginnings, miniature Pizza Hut pizzas, millionaire water parks, strobe lit after-parties, and the early stages of falling in love.”

I Can’t Go For That (No Can Do) by Daryl Hall and John Oates

“My Dad always liked to brainwash us with his music tastes on family holidays playing his extensive vinyl collection on the hire car stereo (via dubbed audio cassettes). Thirty years on, I can now recite all the lyrics (word for word) from the Phil Collins Genesis era, Chris De Burgh’s “Don’t Pay The Ferryman”, and Hall & Oates classic “Private Eyes” album. From that LP, I Can’t Go For That (extended mix) is one of my favourite ‘end of the night/early hours of the morning’ tracks when I’m playing out. Seeing couples dance and groove the night away – and sometimes this DJ wistfully joins in too – although he’s normally safely behind the decks.”

Just before Adam headed back to the platform Kanchelskis “look-a-like” stallholder pointed him in the direction of the old abandoned book stall and told him to pick out a book, for free, for the journey home.

… And Adam picked …

Tell No One by Harlan Coben.

“Always been a sucker for a good page turner and this was the first of many I bought from this excellent crime novel/thriller/mystery author.

On numerous trips between Bristol/Bath for a university project I couldn’t get away from it to be honest, seeing big billboard posters about it at Bath Spa train station everyday. It wasn’t long before said train journeys were being punctuated with this hyper detailed white knuckle ride, about a doctor’s late wife who has seemingly returned from the dead in a live video stream from an anonymous email…

It’s the kind of book that makes you wish your train ride would actually be a little bit longer so you can just finish the next chapter, plus continue reading head down while getting off train, unsafely crossing roads, and bumping into countless pedestrians on your way to your final destination/finishing the book.

Any Coben book is of a similar high standard and there is also a wonderful French film adaptation of the novel (screw you Hollywood) which has the best shot car crash on celluloid that I’ve ever seen.”