David

Canvey Island cds, tapes and vinyl: Our very own David Abbott

Canvey Island cds, tapes and vinyl: Our very own David Abbott

We’re still celebrating our 1st Birthday! Next up for a trip on the much maligned Bifurcated Train, Bifurcated creator David Abbott and here it is now…   The conductor tossed him a  £1 coin and held out his hand  to lead him in the direction of the platform.  *BUZZ* Yep, same gag. It’s painful isn’t it? […]

Red Fergie's Bife Stories: Our very own David Abbott

Red Fergie’s Bife Stories: Our very own David Abbott

Next on the Bi-Player we return to Red Fergie’s Bife Stories. This week we are celebrating reaching the grand old age of one on this here site by letting you know a bit more about us! We have pumped Red Fergie full of maximum strength tranquilisers again, so lets get going before they start to […]

Athletic Bilbao 0 – 4 United

I put £5 on Arsenal overturning Milan last week. Close, but no cigar. So, based on the wild logic that my ability to predict football results is predictably out by at least one goal I’m going for a scoreline that cannot mean United will lose, whoever scores the unpredictable 1 or 2 goal(s). My actual, […]

A Tale of two Owens

Michael Owen’s arrival at United was a kick in the teeth for Liverpool fans. ABUs laughed at the signing of a player considered way past his prime. And that was after laughing at the brochure he had made to parade his abilities around boardrooms up and down the country. Now another Owen, this time an […]

WBA 1 – 2 United

The match started precisely how I imagined it would, and seamlessly from the kind of form we were showing in preseason. It’s so often the case, though, that spurned chances result in the other team making their way back into the game, and who wouldn’t have put the weekly wage on Nani burying his chances […]

We are Manchester United

We are Manchester United

While it hardly pained me to write from the point of view of Barcelona a few days ago, I certainly found it unnatural. It’s my pleasure now, to rattle off a few reasons why United will prevail on Saturday and why Barca should be quaking in their total-football boots. In an interview with the Guardian […]

We are Barcelona

We are Barcelona

While discussing features for the CL final, I mentioned to Brett I might like to write from Barca’s point of view. I often wonder what other teams think of United; what threats they will face, what they feel they can exploit. When I read this interview with Xavi, one of my favourite players to watch, […]

United 3 – 1 Barcelona

I was going for 2-1, then thought, eff it, we’ll stuff ‘em and pompously made it 3-1, noticing that Brett was backing the same scoreline. Then I went to lunch where I was served by a Spanish Barcelona fan who made the “pah” sound when I told him my prediction. He’s going for 2-1 Barcelona, […]

Rovers 1 - 1 United

Rovers 1 – 1 United

That such an incredible achievement as 19 league titles was completed in such an undramatic and nervous way was perhaps redolent of our season. But who cares? I mean really, I’m already fed up with reading “Though not a classic Ferguson side, this team..” and “Lacking the glitz and glamour of bygone…” blah blah blah. […]

United 2 - 1 Chelsea

United 2 – 1 Chelsea

There was a time, namely last season and the 5 seasons prior, when every match we played against Chelsea made my stomach retreat somewhere into my left leg, making me unsteady for 24 hours before kickoff. If we won, my stomach was restored and I could eat again. If we lost, which seemed to always […]

Blackburn 1 – 2 United

With both us and Blackburn needing 1 point from their final two games (Fergie reckons Blackburn can survive with 1) this match is going to be tricky, particularly as the Ewood park team have fellow bottom-dwellers Wolves in their last game of the season and may fancy their chances against a United team already beginning […]

You'll never win anything with [Arsene's] kids

You’ll never win anything with [Arsene’s] kids

Arsenal’s ability to implode this season has been dissected all over the world of football, so I won’t go into gory details. We all know the score (4-4). But here at Bifurcated, where smugness is the order of the day, we’re are offering dinner for 1 for your thoughts on what Arsenal are currently getting […]

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