United fan Silje Skarsbo (@_Miss_United_) who runs her own site Watch me rule the world and blogs for The Faithful MUFC was grabbing a quick fag outside when she was disturbed by the sound of screeching wheels. You guessed it, it was the Bifurcated Train causing havoc.

The conductor leaped from the drivers cab and tossed her a £1 coin and lead her in the direction of the platform.

There was only one train waiting to depart, there was only one destination…

Canvey Island!

(For not-so-regular visitors to the site … We don’t know why either)

At the other end she was nudged towards the derelict car park and the now familiar car-boot sale with the stall, run this time by someone who looked suspiciously like ex-Manchester United player Ole Gunnar Solskjaer!

As is the now the recognised format with this stupidly surreal post, the character has a message: “Welcome to Canvey Island cds, tapes and vinyl. I’ve got to shift all these for a friend of a friend after a miscommunication over some cattle, anyhow, won’t bore you with the detail, it’s not that relevant in all honesty … We have every single ever pressed or recorded in stock, and at 5 for £1, you can enjoy picking your 5 favourites of all time?!”

… And this is what Silje picked and why (in her own words) …

Dancing with myself by Billy Idol

“I’ve chosen Idol’s solo version rather than the Generation X version. I don’t particularly like people, so the thought of doing anything by myself is obviously quite appealing. As the song goes “If I had the chance, I’d ask the world to dance, and I’ll be dancing with myself.” I’m not really convinced the song is actually about dancing as such mind. Plus, Steve Jones of Sex Pistols fame had a fit caused from the drugs he’d taken once having recorded the song with Idol. You can’t get much more Rock’n’Roll than that.”

Heart of the Matter by Don Henley

“I’m not really a very emotional person, so most of my feelings are displayed via either football or music. Henley’s always been a favourite of mine, both as a solo artist and as a member of the Eagles, and Heart of the Matter is my favourite song of his. He also used to be my dream man when I was younger, most girls dreamt of Brad Pitt or Freddie Prince Jr, I wanted Don Henley. Those fantasies may however have required Mr Henley to have the pathology of ephebophiles.”

Dancing in the Dark by Bruce Springsteen

“Sadly more famous for the video with Courtney Cox dancing on stage than the actual song amongst non-fans of Springsteen. Great tune, great lyrics, rocking out frustrations. Probably the hardest choice I had to make when it came to deciding on a favourite from an artist. The deciding factor may or may not have come down to the amount of times the video displays Bruce from the back in tight jeans.”

Bitch by Meredith Brooks

“It’s pretty much been my theme music from the day it was released. All my exes agree.”

American Pie by Don McLean

““And the three men I admire most, the Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost, They caught the last train for the coast, The day the music died” I could listen to McLean all night long. He is to poetry and music what Cantona was to United. Makes your heart skip a beat, and it’s something you’ll never see again.”

Just before Silje headed back to the platform the Ole “look-a-like” stallholder pointed her in the direction of the old abandoned book stall and asked her to pick out a book, for free, for the journey home.

… And Silje picked …

American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis

“Far from my favourite author, but probably my favourite book as it’s the first that came into mind. I could have picked something poncy or hyper mainstream and popular or incredibly intelligent, but I’d rather go for the psychotic mess that is American Psycho. Bale as Bateman is one thing, he’s deliciously crazy, but the book is outstandingly sociopathic and disturbed. And made me realise I’m really not alone in the world after all.”