Friend of Bifurcated Des Flannelly (@Flanders03) was just off down his local for a quick pint, but as he stepped out the house he was confronted by a train station (surprise, surprise) that had appeared out of thin-air.
The conductor handed him a shiny £1 coin and thrust his hand in the direction of the platform. There was only one train waiting to depart, there was only one destination …
(Still not going to let it bother us that there isn’t actually a train station at Canvey Island, onwards…)
Des got off the train and was shoved towards the car park where he found the car-boot sale and the stall run this time by someone who looked suspiciously like ex-Manchester United and Everton player Norman Whiteside!
As per usual the character has a message: “Welcome to Canvey Island cds, tapes and vinyl. I’ve got to shift all these for a friend of a friend after a miscommunication over some adhesives(?), anyhow, won’t bore you with the detail, this nonsense scares people off as it is … We have every single ever pressed or recorded in stock, and at 5 for £1, you can enjoy picking your 5 favourites of all time?!”
“coz we’ve all been there & a beautiful song.”
“So many meanings, always picks me up if I’m down. Great to listen to before you go out. Great song.”
“Reminds me of moving to England from Ireland & my ancestors the same. Sang it to my son to get him to sleep on his 1st day on earth & it still calms him a year later.”
“Love 80’s music, great song that again tells a great story of trials in life -timeless.”
“Favourite band & a nice song that is still relevant today & a little bit different from their usual style – Jones/Strummer great songwriters.”
Just before Des headed home the Big Norm “look-a-like” stallholder pointed him in the direction of the old abandoned book stall and asked him to pick a book, for free, for the journey back…
“It may not sound an inspiring choice, but it was one of the first books I read. It’s a book that transports you back to a simpler time, of both Tom Sawyer’s era & my own youth. I can read it to my own children & they can relate to the mischievous anti-hero Tom & his carefree friend Huck Finn. The book is an adventure, written for children to enjoy, but for adults to reflect on when they were children & what they have become as men. I could honestly read it now, for myself, or for my child. It may not be an intellectual’s choice, but honesty puts it to the forefront.”
…and then we returned Des home, via the pub, for lasties.
You can follow Des on Twitter at @Flanders03
To submit your own five favourite singles of all time and partake in our particularly strange (even for our standards) kidnapping scenario email us at: