ULTIMATE! United All Time Spoonerism XI
When the Reverend William Archibald Spooner invented the spoonerism, or whatever he did (used one for the first time) he couldn’t possibly have imagined he’d have the Manchester United legends and ex-pros of the footballing world champing at the bit to see if they had made it into the all time ULTIMATE! United All Time Spoonerism XI.
He’d have probably said something like we were balking tollocks or shouting spite. What a card he might have been hey! We can only imagine what he might have said. Lhat a Wegend!
Spoonerism fans the world over have been anxiously anticipating this, pestering the Bifurcated offices with numerous emails and phone calls trying to get the scoop.
So, lets get on with it. Rum Droll please, Gere he wo…
1. Goalkeeper: Bary Gailey
Every team of spoonerisms needs a solid spoonerism for a goalie and who better than Bary. A great stop shopper. Seaction raves are his speciality. Heat Grands and densible sistribution.
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2. Right Back: Cack Jape
The perfect spoonerism at right back with the added bonus of summing this whole thing up.
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3. Left Back: Nobby Boble
Hard in and on the tackle *fner, fner*. Spoonerisms can be cheeky.
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4. Centre Back: Jill Phones
Always reliable when ‘called’ on, and *chortle* now has a “girl’s name”. You couldn’t make it up, unless we just had with a spoonerism.
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5. Centre Back: Dike Muxburry
Sounds like someone’s got a job in the 19th century digging out ditches. Luckily he’s a defender in the spoonerism XI, so he doesn’t have to actually do that job. Hooray for the spoonerism!
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6. Defensive Midfield: Memi Roses
Not the strongest of spoonerism players but we imagined a posh florist. That means nothing. Spoonerisms!
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7. Midfield: Bicky Nutt
Bicky as in short for biscuit and Nutt as in nut … ginger nuts. Laugh we thought we’d never start. My friend Paul would love this because of this one time … oh, you had to be there. Spoonerisms are great fun!
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8. Midfield: Chilly Bapman
A spicey batch with a hippie. You’re welcome spoonerism fans.
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9. Forward: Krian Bidd
Heh, he’s Krian (‘Cryin’) and someone’s did a bidd (‘Bid’) on it. Awesome spoonerism dude!
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10. Forward: Ceg Rhester
Sounds like this spoonerism could be taken to Dragon’s Den or not!
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11. Forward: Hickey Mamill
One for the teenage up and coming spoonerism fans of the future, but seriously don’t try this at home kids!
Here’s a totally pointless pitch thing of how they’d line up against another teams of spoonerisms. In the Lampions Cheague maybe?!
NYE FOR BOW!
