Rashford

Huddersfield 2 - 1 United

Huddersfield 2 – 1 United

Still not wasting jokes on this.

Stoke 2 - 2 United

Stoke 2 – 2 United

Really? One month after the game. This is Paul level bad. 5 things we learnzy wearnzy woo woo’d: 1. It was a bad game. 2. Not 5-0 bad obvs but still pretty bad. 3. Mane was defies a red card and anyone thinking otherwise must have also shit for brains. 4. I liked it when […]

Stoke vs. United

Stoke vs. United

 @Benglorious) City 5-0 Liverpool. The prosecution rests, M’Lud.   Prediction: Me to finally realise that prosecution does NOT mean the same as electrocution. Unless it does. Ain’t nobody got no time to check these facts. Lukaku to gain an audience with Jabba by mind-tricking Bib Fortuna who is actually Peter Crouch. 4-0 United. m  (@tom_mcghee) ‘You […]

Swansea 0 - 4 (Four) United

Swansea 0 – 4 (Four) United

With Brett (the maverick one of us) in Poland you would think us two clowns (Tom and Benno) would do this review, but we are massive blends. FOURchester United more like! Here’s FOUR things we learned in honFOUR of FOUR FOURmidable team: 1. I’m not sure how to handle all these goals. 2. It just […]

United 4 (Four) - 0 West Ham

United 4 (Four) – 0 West Ham

We haven’t won the English Premier League on the first day of the season since that great day back in 1966! All the squad can now look forward to taking a well deserved tour of all them countries who haven’t bought enough shirts and that, until next August. Here’s 5 things we learnt/ed: 1. Winning […]

EL Semi Final: Celta Vigo 0 - 1 United

EL Semi Final: Celta Vigo 0 – 1 United

Yung Rash = Paul Daniels. Pretty smalltime of Jose Mourinho to call us out on international TV for never actually managing to highlight 5 things we’ve learned imho. Here’s 5 things we learned, just for Jose: 1. Marcus Rashford is the future of everything (Orange lied to us). 2. Lovely touch having the A-Team playing […]

EL Semi Final: Celta Vigo vs. United

EL Semi Final: Celta Vigo vs. United

m m (@Benglorious) Celta Vigo are not a team United should be taking lightly this evening. After all, this IS the business end of the elite Europa competition-that-isn’t-for-the-best-clubs-in-Europe-but-still-gives-us-annoying-midweek-games-that-make-us-draw-all-our-important-matches-but-at least-if-we-do-win-the-whole-thing-it-does-mean-that-we’re-better-than-Liverpool League. Prediction: Another debut goal for Rashford and yet another hat-trick for Ronaldo as the Reds cruise to an easy victory. 0-0 United m m  (@tom_mcghee) […]

Burnley 0 - 2 United

Burnley 0 – 2 United

It was a triumphant return to the team for Skipper Roo: assisting all United’s attacking endeavours in his own unique way i.e delicate first touch and pace. His goal quite literally could not have been claimed by and credited to anyone else but our loveable Roondawg. Here’s to another 251!! Here’s the 5 things we […]

Burnley vs. United

Burnley vs. United

(@Benglorious) m The last time we played Burnley we had more shots than World War II but couldn’t find the net. I think that makes us Italy in this metaphor, but without the changing teams halfway through because we were losing. m Prediction: Rashford to continue his rise to glory by scoring for the third successive […]

EL: United 2 (3) - (2) 1 Anderlecht

EL: United 2 (3) – (2) 1 Anderlecht

Another victorious victory at the half way stage of the Europa League tournament; only 743 matches to play until the final, which the players will be relieved to know is only played over 5 legs. Hashtag Rash is Life 4 Life yo! Here’s 5 things we Europa learned: 1. Rasherz with the R3 manoeuvres made […]

EL: United (1) vs. (1) Anderlecht

EL: United (1) vs. (1) Anderlecht

(@Benglorious) If Anderlecht play anything like Chelsea then we should beat them comfortably unless United play like Chelsea because that would result in a draw unless Anderlecht play like United which would also finish as a draw. Maths is hard. m Prediction: United to come out all guns blazing. Anderlecht to refuse to come out because […]

United 2 - 0 Chelsea

United 2 – 0 Chelsea

Before the game the naysayers were all like: “They can’t compete!” “There’s no way they’re going to get anything from this!” “The line-up isn’t good enough!” “Not strong enough!” “The great days are long gone!” “Blah-Blah-Blah” “Clown-shoes!” “Etc!”… And then we set the internet on fire with a another a great a joke. There was […]

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