Pogba

As Phil Jones and Ed Woodward watched on and may, or, may not havNo, can’t even pretend to give a fuck. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Mid-table team now I’m very sad 2. Shampooing my carpet was more exciting than the match 3. How have we forgotten how to play football it really isn’t […]

*abso maverick glolorific intro to rapturous applause* *from Paul*   Here’s some questions we asked each other to pad this excuse for Tom to share his considered thoughts on the 2018/19 season:   1. What shape is a/the wheel? Benno: It doesn’t matter what shape the wheel is, it matters who’s at said wheel and […]

(@Benglorious) Sussed. Prediction: That to make sense when you read Tom’s. M  (@tom_mcghee) Can’t be arsed already bored of talking about it with cunts on twitter. Benno do you remember at primary school how Jody brown would always be like ‘ha, sussed’ I’m sure all of Twitter are his children. Also Abso glols at Ed trying […]

A return to winning ways after an apocalyptic run of losings stretching back further than any of us can remember, might just save Ole’s job.   For now.   Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Good to see us win in the style of Manchester United of old 2. I didn’t watch it 3. I […]

The only real downside to last night’s result is the footage emerging of Alexis Sanchez looking very small. Apparently, he is just very small and not just very far away. Wait, two downsides: the MBM Krang/turtles tweet was wasted on all you scum.   Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. People sure don’t like Sanchez […]

“We’ve finally got our United back!” Plastics. We remained Top Reds throughout. No need to look back through our previews and reviews over the last 3 years.  The science checks out.   Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Glad I’m not a Chelsea fan 2. Which team do you support, again? 3. The best one […]

Starting to think sacking Mourinho was a good idea after all. Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Pretty sure Rashford’s mum and dad are Maradona and Pele 2. Pele definitely not the dad 3. lol because of his limp member 4. lol

We’ve written “a lot”, so, no need to fill with this introduction this week.       Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Now we definitely know. 2. Stream was so bad I couldn’t really watch it. First half was ok but then it kept freezing loads then it went back in time, then it […]

  (@Benglorious) They should rename Boxing Day as Pooping Day because that’s all I’ve been shifting out that end all morning. From log cabins to rusty water and all the varieties of pebbledash in between, I haven’t even had time to try on all my new socks at once because I’ve been practicing surrealism on […]

Did you really expect any of us to watch this game? I mean seriously??!! Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. Someone should just disband Manchester United. Release the players back into the wild. 2. Not Phil Jones. At this point the most humane thing is a mercy killing 3. I liked it when Pogba missed […]

  Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. I learnt nothing. I actually unlearnt stuff I thought I knew ie what the fuck was that game? 2. Pogba was great second half. I feel like I should say this because I moan about him so much. 3. Making Lukaku a CB will be Jose’s last great […]