Marcus

Wayne “Roondawg, Skipperdy-Skip-Skip, Capper-Roo” Rooney returned to the first team and inspired a resounding victory against one of Europe’s averagest teams, who could make Dundee United look like 1990’s Ajax. And made everyone look relatively great again, in a competition that defies context, meaning, or worth. Great times. Paul Pogba, the second best of all […]

m  FLC Nominated for crimes against fun/lols (@Benglorious) Losttheirlustre City is the kind of joke you should always start with. Secondly, you should say something about Red Leicester even though they play in blue. Needs workshopping, that one. I’ll see if Brett manages to punch it up and then just steal it. Coming off the back […]

Lashitinfromayradfromgoallikehthehammerlegendyourareford more like. In other news: Skipper Roo finally silenced his critics with a display of such wanting-to-chainsaw-your-eyes-out-with-a-chainsaw-made-from-barbed-wire-so-you-can-never-suffer-watching-him-play-football-again depths. We all killed ourselves irl and that’s why we are silent, is the a joke. I’m writing this from beyond the grave. Tell my mum to feed the cat. And not the oily tuna. It plays […]

  m  FBA-Nominated Maverick (@Benglorious) The last time we played Northampton we actually had good players who were proven goalscorers for United – Diego Forlan and Mikaël Silvestre both netted that day. Those were the good times. Nowadays, we’re not even sure we can beat a team that is five hundred places below us in the league […]

   FBA-Nominated Troll Benno (@Benglorious)  15.02, Thursday – Just found out there’s a game tonight. Prediction: Terrible. 5-0 United     FBA-Nominated Cunt Tom (@tom_mcghee) I don’t care. In fact, I don’t care so much, I’m going to smash your fucking face in. Related: anyone else notice the two teams who recently lost to City BOTH trained […]

 FBA-Nominated football blog writer Benno (@Benglorious) It’s Derby time again! That special match that only comes round three, sometimes four or five but no less than two, times a year unless it only happens once. The winners get to make Manchester either red or blue in a tradition that stretches back all the way to the […]

We haven’t witnessed scenes like this at the Cake-Con Stadium since ‘Cake-Con ’03’ and the scenes with the cake and the scenes. In. Cred. Ib. Hull. Scenes. That’s mine. You can use that to make new friends in awkward social situations. Aka Brett’s life. Rashdawg utilised a loophole in matchday squad/substitution administration to circumvent Jose’s ageist […]

 Benno (@Benglorious) FA Cup Final day is the most important day of the year unless Arsenal are playing. They’re not, so we all dodged a collective bullet this year. Can you actually imagine how big such a bullet, and how big the gun that fired it, would have to be, not even taking into account that everyone […]