United 2 - 1 Arsenal

United 2 – 1 Arsenal

a He drinks a Whiskey drink, he drinks a Vodka drink. He drinks a Lager drink, he drinks a Cider drink. He sings the songs that remind him of the good times. He sings the songs that remind him of the best times… Who ‘He’ is … I guess we’ll never know.     Here’s 5 things we […]

United vs. Arsenal

United vs. Arsenal

  (@Benglorious) Can’t believe I’ve only just realised that his name is Arsene and he’s the owner of Arsenal. It’s like they’re twins with unimaginative parents who love butts. Prediction: Wenger to sign off in his last game against United à la Steven Gerrard; by being linked to the Rangers job. Goals for Shaw and Welbeck […]

Arsenal vs. United

Arsenal vs. United

  (@Benglorious)   Prediction:  0-0 United. m  (@tom_mcghee) I have done no words as I hate you both.   Infinity War (2018) Looks good. Prediction: I didn’t ask for your life story M8.  m (@bifurcated_utd) I have done no words cos no internet at my new cribizzle for shizzle boisizzles! Prediction: I read between the lines. […]

EFLC: Swansea vs. United

EFLC: Swansea vs. United

 @Benglorious) I like watching football when we win. I won’t be watching tonight. Prediction: Lukaku to bullseye womp rats in his T-16 back home. 0-0 United. m     m  (@tom_mcghee) As the questions over Brett’s tenuous grasp of reality continue to flood the secret DM group that me and Benno have, it’s time that […]

United 2 - 0 Leicester

United 2 – 0 Leicester

This game was so long ago that no-one cares. Here’s 5 things to not care about: 1. We were only half as good as the last game. 2. But still eighteen-thirds better than Arsenal. 3. Even Arsenal are eighteen-thirds better than Arsenal. 4. Guardians of the Galaxy 2 was good I liked it when there […]

Arsenal 2 - 0 United

Arsenal 2 – 0 United

Losing 2-0 is worse than drawing 1-1, which is a little better than drawing 0-0, but it’s much better when we win 2-0. Here’s 5 things we learned, aside from Danny Welbeck is a massive traitorer: 1. Didn’t watch it as was cleaning up dogshit. 2. Which was actually preferable. 3. I did watch it […]

Arsenal vs. United

Arsenal vs. United

m m (@Benglorious) With David Moyes finally proving his Premiership credentials yesterday, Mourinho and Wenger really have a lot to live up to today. I’m hoping for at least two plane banners locked in an aerial dogfight for at least 45 minutes or I want my money back for the Canadian stream I’m watching illegally. […]

EL: United vs. St. Etienne

EL: United vs. St. Etienne

(@Benglorious) I really like the Europa League. Mostly because we’ve got zero chance of shipping five goals to Bayern Munich. Saint Etienne are the opponents at Old Trafford tonight, and boy do we have some history with them. Google it. Anyway, in lieu of a shite joke about a 90’s indie dance trio, here’s some […]

United 1 - 1 Arsenal

United 1 – 1 Arsenal

Keane and Vieira, Keown and Van Nistelrooy, Wright and Schmeichel, Wenger and Fergie, Wenger and Mourinho, Wenger and Dugout, 8 and 2, Title and Winning at Old Trafford, we gave your boys one hell of a drawing. Here’s 5 things we learned from the latest war, in this war to end all wars in wardom: […]

United vs. True Blue Gunner Gooners

United vs. True Blue Gunner Gooners

 (@Benglorious) It’s been so long since the last football I’ve actually had to watch some normal telly instead. Here are my findings:   Project Runway All Stars Smug Americans do a sew and also bitch about each other. Watchable, like Everton.   The Apprentice Smug Brits do business studies GCSE and also bitch about each […]

Paul's House Puppet: Wenger

Paul’s House Puppet: Wenger

United 3 - 2 Arsenal

United 3 – 2 Arsenal

MEMPHIS FULL STOP RASHFORD IN BRACKETS. Here’s the 5 things thing: 1) Beating goonsquad is always great (I re-learnt this). 2) I’ve worked out numbers. 3) Mata and Herrera and Memphis are good at football. 4) Marcus Rashford is a hammerlegend. 18) Would happily miss every match if it meant winning them all. 21) No […]

Bi-Mark: Footballiversity

Bi-Benno: Where Are They Right Now..?

Bi-Konny: Michael Owen Reads Mean Tweets...