Chelsea

FAC: Chelsea 0 - 2 United

FAC: Chelsea 0 – 2 United

The only real downside to last night’s result is the footage emerging of Alexis Sanchez looking very small. Apparently, he is just very small and not just very far away. Wait, two downsides: the MBM Krang/turtles tweet was wasted on all you scum.   Here’s 5 things we learned: 1. People sure don’t like Sanchez […]

FAC: Chelsea vs. United

FAC: Chelsea vs. United

(@Benglorious) Here’s yer boy with some more faultless logic – City thrashed Chelsea. Both City and United didn’t win in the Champions League last week. Ergo: United are as good as City. Double ergo: United will thrash Chelsea. Prediction: Did you not read that flawless argument? ’nuff said. 0-0 United. M  (@tom_mcghee) I will not […]

Chelsea 2 - 2 United

Chelsea 2 – 2 United

FAC Final: United 0 - 1 Chelsea

FAC Final: United 0 – 1 Chelsea

Can’t wait to watch Liverpool collect the Champions League title, to cap another wonderful week in the club’s recent history. Here’s 5 things we learned, apart from that Phil Jones is a legend: 1. I think I preferred it when ferguson was in charge. 2. I actually enjoyed the Royal Wedding more and I didn’t […]

FAC Final: United vs. Chelski (BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA GEDDIT?!)

FAC Final: United vs. Chelski (BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA GEDDIT?!)

     (@Benglorious) The FA Cup final. Today is when we finally see the results of our 38 training matches this season culminate in a tactical masterclass, leading to United winning the most important, if not the only, trophy in European club football. Winning the FA Cup for the second time in his career will […]

United 2 - 1 Chelsea

United 2 – 1 Chelsea

I don’t need to write anything about the game here, as the 5 things we learned bit below more than makes up the word count. Here’s  5 things we learned: 1. The best bit was tasting Graeme’s salty tears. 2. Other good bits were Lukaku and Pogba and Matic. 3. Sanchez was not a good […]

United vs. Chelsea

United vs. Chelsea

  (@Benglorious) Remember that time we beat Chelsea because Herrera stood on top of their best player for the whole match like a tiny Spanish hat? Well, today we’re fucked because Ander’s only gone and got himself a terminal injury as per BT Sport’s insightful commentary team. Maybe we could just try and beat them […]

Chelsea 1 - 0 United

Chelsea 1 – 0 United

Remember after four or five games in to the season when we were all saying how amazing Jose Mourinho was; Matic and Lukaku were the best signings ever and the missing pieces in the title jigsaw, and how good we were playing? Neither do we. Here’s another 5 things we learned from yet another game, […]

Chelsea vs. United

Chelsea vs. United

  (@Benglorious) Chelsea are the reigning champions. They play in blue kits in a nice part of London called Fulham. They used to have a player called Bumstead and another called Spackman. These names still make me laugh. Do you know what else makes me laugh? John Terry crying. Prediction: If she don’t come, I’ll […]

EFLC: Swansea vs. United

EFLC: Swansea vs. United

 @Benglorious) I like watching football when we win. I won’t be watching tonight. Prediction: Lukaku to bullseye womp rats in his T-16 back home. 0-0 United. m     m  (@tom_mcghee) As the questions over Brett’s tenuous grasp of reality continue to flood the secret DM group that me and Benno have, it’s time that […]

EL: United (1) vs. (1) Anderlecht

EL: United (1) vs. (1) Anderlecht

(@Benglorious) If Anderlecht play anything like Chelsea then we should beat them comfortably unless United play like Chelsea because that would result in a draw unless Anderlecht play like United which would also finish as a draw. Maths is hard. m Prediction: United to come out all guns blazing. Anderlecht to refuse to come out because […]

United 2 - 0 Chelsea

United 2 – 0 Chelsea

Before the game the naysayers were all like: “They can’t compete!” “There’s no way they’re going to get anything from this!” “The line-up isn’t good enough!” “Not strong enough!” “The great days are long gone!” “Blah-Blah-Blah” “Clown-shoes!” “Etc!”… And then we set the internet on fire with a another a great a joke. There was […]

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