CL: Barcelona (1) vs. (0) United

 

(@Benglorious)

Yet another pivotal night in United’s Champions League history. I don’t know about you, but I’m fed up with all this midweek rigmarole. Hopefully the lads feel the same and make this the last game we have to suffer through for a couple of years.

Prediction: A half-hearted, going through the motions performance followed by a humble but heartfelt tribute to the fans. Better luck next time. 2-1 United.

M

TomBio (@tom_mcghee)

Everyone fucking loves Barcelona so much yet their ‘new field’ stadium was built in 1957* – if you tried driving a 1957 car around claiming it was ‘new’, you’d get laughed out of town. And rightly so. To this end I suggest we start calling it by its more accurate name ie Camp (or Field for the committed Brexiteer)

Parks and Recreation (Seasons 2-7, some time ago)

Like a 30 Rock but set elsewhere (the Parks and Rec Department. Not an NBC or 30 Rock Parks and Rec Department but a Parks and Rec Department in another town/state) it had many moments that made me laugh. Like 30 Rock.

Prediction: 2 – 0 United, Sanchez to roll back the years and score two hahahaha of course not we’re well going out and he’ll be fucking dross like the piano cunt he is.

*Their old ground was only used by Barcelona more than a club for 35 years. They’ve already been at the the Camp for 62 years. You can see the problem, the big ol’ liars.

 

(@bifurcated_utd)

Suck on your disappointment fuckos!! The Bif Boys are heading out on the town to celebrate Benno’s *insert age later when confirmed by T, somewhere near your age. What? 21? Again?! Oh, you! Hard to tell with Benno what with that face* birthday!

We’ll be so far gone by 8pm that we won’t even know what Barcelona is*

*check what Barcelona is.

Prediction: Maybe I’ll turn my phone on and off as the screen must have frozen as I have not heard anything from anyone, or someone. Oh. Wait! Oh, just mum. Fuck off mum. Oh. Wait! Oh, just my alarm reminding me it’s Benno’s birthday. Oh. Wait! Oh, just Paul sending me pictures of his birthday I wasn’t at. Oh. Wait! Oh, just Tom sending more pictures of his birthday from the previous week I wasn’t at. 0 – 0 United.

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