(@Benglorious) Can’t believe Stoke got a new manager today. Really can’t believe Stoke got a new manager at all. All I know about Paul Lambert is that he defeated the Kurgan and tasted that sweet, sweet Quickening. Prediction: It’s a kind of magic. 0-0 United. m (@tom_mcghee) I am not writing another preview until […]
As Jesse Lingered continues to single-handedly win us every trophy we have won in the past 30 years, Jose Mourinho continues to burn them. Here’s 5 things we learned innit: 1. Letting Steven drive is a mistake. 2. Lingard’s goal was good … but his dancing drives me mad !! 3. What game was it?
(@Benglorious) Another Derby match. Let’s hope Andross Townsend behaves in a respectful manner this time unless he wants to wake up on Mourinho’s hotel room floor. Prediction: United to put out a full-strength squad, showing this great competition the respect it deserves. Something Andross Townsend would know nothing about. Lukaku to stay on for one […]
Rooney sure showed us. BahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahBAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH etc. Here’s 5 things we learnt: 1. Even without some of our first choice players I find it very difficult to believe that United can catch us now. 2. But you’rOh!! It’s a joke! 3. If you have dinner and miss the game the result seems better because you didn’t […]
(@Benglorious) After I celebrated the dawning of the new year with a glass of apple juice and some dry crackers, I am actually looking forward to today’s game. Not having had anything with any flavour in it for the last few days has given me a true appreciation for Jose Mourinho’s approach to football. Here’s to […]
As we consolidated our position at the top of the any normal English Premier League season table, with another outstanding top of the any normal English Premier League season table performance, we learned 5 things… 1. Explosive diarrhoea is preferable to what we just watched. 2. As is vomiting at the same time. 3. I […]
(@Benglorious) My Christmas was great right up until the time I got a Christmas virus and I made my toilet look like a cheap coffee maker. The agony and frailty I’m experiencing as I type this still makes me feel better than watching the highlights of our last two games. Prediction: May try solid […]
Messi Lingard saves the day once again. Though actually playing football quite well for 90 minutes might also be worth a try. Here’s another 5 things we learned: 1. hashtagmourihnoout 2. hashtagdychein 3. I wish your dog was dead too tbf. 4. That is too far Brett. Too far by far. 5. It was funny […]
(@Benglorious) It’s Christmas, so why don’t you and Lenny Henry fuck off? Prediction: 0-0 United. m (@tom_mcghee) Lol. Prediction: 0-0 United m (@bifurcated_utd) Make us. Prediction: 0-0 United.
MataLand. Like Matalan. But better. Probably less sales at Christmas. Here’s 5 learns: 1. Pogba’s shooting from distance was a highlight imho. 2. Missing all those chances was silly. 3. I enjoyed the parts of the game where it looked like we might win it. 4. Happy Christmas Cunts. 5. Right Backatcha. 6. Did I […]
(@Benglorious) Prediction: 0-0 United. m (@tom_mcghee) Prediction: 0-0 United m (@bifurcated_utd) Literally couldn’t give a fuck. You two that is. I wrote this. Prediction: 0-0 United.
Told you last minute goals were for tools. Here’s another 5 things we learned: 1. Wasn’t there a big row about not being on telly? It is on telly. Lol. What a day. 2. That was the fa cup. Read a fucking book sometime. 3. Not sure you can fit both teams on a telly […]